On the Ozempic topic- this just feels like another capitalist plaster to maintain status quo and allowing corporations to continue poisoning us with ultra processed food. The focus has always wrongly been on weight rather than nutrition. You can be thin and still incredibly unhealthy and wise versa.
The book “ultra processed people” was great to give me the perspective I already had deep down. I actually did IQS many years ago and was totally refined sugar free for 2.5years. I had been on the very obese scale and lost over 20kg. In hindsight (although ofc sugar is a problem) I now question how much of the weight loss was down to me just cutting out all UPF at the same time.
As a society we are barely eating real food anymore. And it’s all interlinked: the climate crisis, the mental and physical health crisis, the social crisis. UPF in my opinion is both a symptom and contributing factor of the meta-crisis.
We are all so busy climbing the corporate ladder we no longer value the time it takes to prepare and eat real food. This deprives us of
1. the proper nutrition we need (making us physically sick)
2. The social interactions that come with eating a meal together (making us mentally sick due to lack of community and human connection)
3. True understanding of the food supply chain - we are so removed from ingredients and the death associated with meat eating for example, we no longer respect it (resulting in us wasting food / over consuming high carbon foods, which we all know has horrendous environmental consequences)
And this is all in the name of growth and profits by a hand full of multinationals who spend all their energy lobbying governments to avoid regulation and when failing this (like with HFSS legislation in the U.K.) they then spend millions trying to engineer even more ultra processed foods that would meet the regulations and continue to allow them to reap huge profits whilst fuelling overconsumptions (I would know, this was my last job before I finally quit working for big brands earlier this year).
They are all my concerns, too. I'm interviewing Chris on my first day back in Australia eek! And your point about the social interactions is important. One of the side effects of Ozempic is that you don't like eating and drinking and Helen's article picks up on this creating another divide ...friends who no longer want to come for dinner/ a drink.
That’s amazing, I can’t wait to hear that conversation between you and Chris! I’m fascinated by all things food and nutrition and convinced it is the key to many of the challenges we are facing as a society atm.
I have found myself liking my chubby body MORE as the Ozempic wave takes off. I feel relieved of the obligation of trying so damn hard to fight off what happens to women’s bodies as they age and letting myself and my body do things in a way that is natural and intuitive. Even if that means I am fat.
I get a lot of compliments. What’s funny is that I still picture myself as having dark brown hair, and sometimes I’m surprised when I look in the mirror.
Yeah, I feel that way too! I walk every day (mostly) and eat healthy, and do intermittent fasting every so often, and the weight my body is at now is not what it was when I was 20, but not much else about me is the same as it was then either 😅
The podcast with Connor Beaton was the most fun I've had in a while. My husband and I listened together, pausing a debating it point by point. When we got through the first bottle of wine we moved onto the scotch...
Unfortunately, 37 minutes in (although it took us over 2 hours to get there) Connor said that the APA said, "traditional masculinity is on the whole harmful." We of course paused, debated, and finally looked up the quote, which is actually, " traditional masculinity—marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression—is, on the whole, harmful" Those words in the middle make a big difference!
We were well into the Scotch by then and agreed it was time to turn it off. A great podcast for some proper debate and discussion ☺️
This is very funny and lovely. Correct me if I'm wrong...Conner I recall is critical of such an assessment (that traditional masculinity should be deemed harmful). I agree, though, we need to be quite clear on terminology. I'm trying to watch myself and use phraseology like, "destructive masculinity" etc. to distinguish things. I'd be open to what you and your husband think
I've made a mistake. I read the question quickly, opened a notebook and wrote a long response, then came back to paste it... And realised I got the question wrong 🤣
But I've written it now, so here are "our" thoughts on the first 37 minutes of the podcast:
The first point of debate/discussion was the idea that men in particular need a right of passage ceremony or they'll never properly "grow up".
I found this interesting as I see my daughter & nieces hit puberty and get their first periods. It's terrifying. It's confusing. But it provides a challenge that she mostly navigates herself. So maybe it's fair to say boys need something different from girls in this sense, because girls all have that right of passage already.
My husband's point of debate was how Connor was referring to "men", but he really meant his own experience. It fits into a wider discussion across our family dynamics - I come from a family where the men are always obsessing about who is the top patriarch, are they challenging the young men enough, do the boys have proper male role models. My husband (and my sister's husband) *just don't care*. My husband never had a right of passage, but we've known each other since we were 15 (30 years ago!) and never had the types of conflict Connor described. Note that my husband still thinks this is an important discussion, but it isn't "men need this", just "some men need this"
Sarah started pushing towards a point really closely aligned with my husband's viewpoint - there is a massive difference between most men, the rank and file, and the men who are actually members of the patriarchy. He believes that the patriarchy itself harms those rank and file men.
That's when Connor made the argument that men are underrepresented in psychology and about the APA saying all traditional masculinity is negative. We paused and debated how a professional body could possibly say such an outrageous thing... Which led to looking it up, realising the actual APA statement had caveats that made it reasonable, and realising it was late and we were drunk.
Hopefully the rest of the podcast was as interesting and engaging as that first half, I just haven't had time to listen to the rest of it!
Nice reflection Kirsten, and I love your husbands response, glad to hear that he is happy just being who he is. I get the impression that men’s coaches quite often come with a lot of baggage. As does Connor and it can be difficult for them to not use their own experience as the expert opinion. A bias I think is in us all, and unfortunately stifles learning and growth.
A great point re periods and the initiation that it presents 👌🏼 It is definitely a defining journey , though challenging.
And YES!!! There is no toxic masculinity or toxic femininity (which is just as pervasive in society).
There is toxic behaviour brought on by insecurity and trauma. This stops the blaming and the shame and goes right to the root of the issue.
The one up man ship in your family makes men feel like shit and leads to dangerous behaviour and disconnection. (And substance abuse?)
A woman who is insecure and needs to emasculate her husband so that he will do her bidding or not leave is abusing him. The insecure man who passively or physically abuses his wife is the same. It is power games at play. Not gender.
Just look at the Netanyahus , his wife has severe mental health issues, and is incredibly insecure, as is he. She subconsciously and consciously controls her family through her trauma and dramas. Trying to maintain control of the external and the internal world consistently falls apart. This family dynamic is playing out into a whole country and potentially globally. Can I bring about enough misery so that people will just do as I ask? Force, abuse, disease and violence.
I can imagine Kirsten, sometimes it is necessary unfortunately to make boundaries that big. And thanks for highlighting that our own experiences are not universal. Its great to hear examples of others experiences, behaviours and rituals to shake up my own biases
I apologise for giving advice, it is a bad habit I know 🍋 But I love sharing observations and patterns, life amazes me and I am a commentator 😂
Watch out for it following you , I went to Sweden for 10 years to escape my familial demons , and my good Swedish friend did the exact same thing in reverse, he escaped to Australia. 😂
I needed that break though , and sounds like you did too in order raise the family in a healthy way. It was amazing to see things rearrange while I was absent from the situation and was also not feeding it. Everything fell into place when I was no longer judging or trying to change them. I just came home from a family gathering and it was the most beautiful one we have ever had. And last night I slept at my parents home with my daughter. She commented this morning that things have changed, the depression and sadness has lifted. She said that she would normally find it difficult to sleep there because the energy was to sad. But last night she slept so soundly and felt safe 🙏🏼🥰.
It will be interesting to see what happens with yours while you focus on your little ones and your good man 🙏🏼
And on the flip side , Hamas / ISIS / Taliban / America / England aka male one up man ship on who has the biggest dick or who loves God the most.
Take gender and religion out of it , it’s all just scared people being assholes
But that observation is not going to rebuild lives, families or cities. But I feel like the general population is learning it. We have come out of the post modern phase of narcissism, now into nihilism, and then hopefully once we hit rock bottom we can regroup into realism and optimism
There is a danger in shaming masculinity, just as much as there is in shaming femininity. Both can become toxic in the wrong environment. A dominant tyrant can strip people of their power and lives. An overwhelming mother or matriarch can strip people of their power and lives just as quickly.
There will always be darkness in life , so there needs to be warriors to defend against it, who understand the tyrant in them. And there will always be the need for comfort and care, but without the pain of life , life withers and dies.
That is why organic food and wild food is more nutritious, it needs to build itself strong because of the sometimes harsh environment it is in.
Boys need to be taught how to be good men, who are unafraid to stand up to the rapist , misogynist, or tyrant. And who are able to feel these weaknesses in themselves also.
It’s happening , I was Ubering years back, and I had a bunch of young men in the car, bantering. We drove past some young women and one of the guys called out. We all felt it, the attractiveness of the women, and the wrongness of invading their space with voice.
One of the other lads spoke up and said mate don’t be so Weinstein 🙏🏼 I congratulated him.
Have to admit this is one pod I didn't listen to - I just didn't feel interested tbh! But I do love a good podcast to listen to with my husband so perhaps we will follow your lead and take this one in over a drink or two.
We are the same when we listen - Nate Hagens and Meg episodes carried us through a very lively road trip recently, much pausing and much discussion. Love it!
The fun thing is…. You just can’t take Ozempic or Saxenda or Metformin…. And get a result.
It’s not a magic bullet.
Obesity is a serious illness, which I faced having developed leptin resistance and lipodema 4 years ago.
Thank GOD for modern medicine.
I no longer have a brain telling my fat cells there’s no energy to burn, while simultaneously storing the fat (energy) and shutting my body down to burn it.
And no, it wasn’t Ozempic I was on, but liraglutide…. And I ate in calorie deficit and followed strict dietary guidelines to make that happen.
It really annoys me that people think it’s easy to do this for the ones that actually need this medical intervention.
As for the others “using” it as a quick fix.
It’s not sustainable for them.
I say it’s a temporary solution unless they plan to change their lifestyle FOREVER
Thanks Lita. Yes, I'm worried in all this that the very real hormonal issues that obesity and diabetes patients suffer are overlooked...and the whole topic stays stuck in "a weight loss problem" paradigm.
I love having ultra thin people without medical degrees discuss MY health and act as though they have any say in the matter. Why is a diabetic more deserving of this drug than someone who is morbidly obese? Why is this diagnosis allowed to access treatment but this other (equally devastating) diagnosis is told they just need more will power? It's absolutely disgusting.
Hi Jo, very happy to respond. I'm not sure if you are directing your anger at me (I'm the ultra thin person?). I don't think anyone is more deserving...I was highlighting a divide that is emerging. And I agree that will power should not come into this debate. Again, reporting on the divides/debates that are happening. My point is that we need to be discussing the difficult issues better, preferably without anger.
A reason, so many struggle with their weight is that the food industry has weaponised their products to covertly exploit the addictive nature of sugar. There is virtually nothing available in the supermarket that doesn’t contain sugar nowadays. How helpful of them to come up with a new drug to help those of us who have succumbed to the culinary version of “crack cocaine” hidden in much of our food supply?
We know about those who are addicted to alcohol.
Yeast turns Sugar into alcohol.
It’s hardly a stretch of the imagination to suspect that sugar, for some people, is also a highly addictive substance.
Thank you, Sarah, for highlighting the issue of journalists' paid trips to Israel. It's extremely concerning to see so many prominent journalists and media platforms have accepted these trips - usually without declaring this in subsequent articles.
Meanwhile in Gaza, journalists are being killed at a shockingly high rate.
To quote Owen Jones in The Guardian yesterday:
"The mass slaughter of journalists is one of those horrors. According to the Committee to Protect Journalists (CPJ), this is the deadliest conflict for media workers they have ever recorded. A total of at least 57 – comprising 50 Palestinian and seven foreign journalists – have suffered violent deaths; another 100 have been injured, all in just seven weeks. To put those numbers in perspective, according to the International Federation of Journalists, a total of 68 media workers were killed on a global scale in the whole of 2022.
"Where, it must be asked, is the journalistic solidarity?"
Indeed. I've seen almost nothing about this in the Australian media, and yet several international organisations (including the Committee to Protect Journalists, the Foreign Press Association, the Arab and Middle Eastern Journalists Association, and Reporters Without Borders) have been raising their concerns about the Israeli government and IDF deliberately targeting Palestinian journalists in Gaza for weeks now.
Owen's work is incredible - I came across him re climate stuff. He goes hard! When it comes to media coverage of media, the Guardian and Crikey are really the only outlets that will tell it straight.
Yes, absolutely. Patrick Marlborough (who writes for Crikey) is another of my favourite journalists, as is Dave Milner, who writes for The Shot. Both have written some brilliant pieces recently on Israel/Gaza, the current state of Australian politics and the failures of our 'leaders' to act on climate change.
I just finished your chat with Connor, Sarah and you nailed it. It was not meandering at all. From a man’s perspective you touched on very relevant points which gave me a lot of insight. Both into myself but also what it is that women really want from us.
Your comment that you just need to know , that we know, what it is that’s going on internally. And that we have a game plan on what we are going to do about it. That was gold 🙏🏼 for me, as I am a classic over sharer (maybe that’s been noticed here 🤣).
Even though integrity and transparency are important values of mine. This made me realise that maybe she is not ready, or able, or interested in going to the places that I am comfortable with. And is it really necessary at this stage in getting to know each other? Do I hang on my partner too much in this? What areas can we agree to challenge each other on (maybe just relationship) and the rest, career / finance / purpose can be with friends, other men or professionals. Process our demons outside , game plan and execution inside the relationship.
A high five from men everywhere Sarah for that one 🙌🏼
The observation that men will voluntarily or subconsciously bring themselves to rock bottom , and also move towards challenge is 100% on target. This has played out for me in my life and all of the men around me. This is valuable for men to understand, and for women, we will , and have to trigger each other. Connor described this perfectly without the spiritual woo woo. Nature designed us to meet mates who balance and enhance our offspring, and ourselves, physically and emotionally (which are actually the same thing).
This mechanism is unavoidable, the one you love the most, will be at times the one you hate the most. Because they will expose our biggest fears and what we hate most about ourselves. It is how we express ourselves and take responsibility for our feelings and behaviour which dictate the growth, learning, repair and outcomes.
Connor explained the JP and AT issues perfectly , I have listened to both of these guys to see what they are about. And they hit the big bro and the father archetype internally.
I also liked how he explained the flip side to all of this, and the use of and confusion around controversial and inflammatory comments by AT, and the behaviour of women and the future challenges for women re porn and relationships.
AT talks of rough and dominating sex , talk of which excites men as they feel in charge and powerful, and think this is what women want, because of porn. But this also excites some women, segue to the porn and 50 Shades discussion.
Dominating or rather confident behaviour is natural, and is desirable, as a strong, and capable man who at times can be safely dominant, is a good thing. Both in the world but also in the bedroom. It is when this behaviour is spoken of , suggested by or conducted by boys and men who are obviously not strong, capable or mature. That this discussion goes into some very dark places. This brings up questions around how many women voted for Trump in America ( the grandfather version of AT 😅). And speaks of deeper human emotions, basic drives and values at play, which are also in play in this mine field. As the world changes , we are going to have to take a damn good look at ourselves, and feel deeply into our needs and values. While being mindful of the natural polarities of power (capital, money physical) and sex.
To get the ball rolling , I will initiate a men’s walking group here in Byron , to both help with my own sense of isolation and need of quality sounding boards. Along with other guys here that I know feel the same.
Luckily I have three men around me who joined me at rock bottom at the same time. And get it 🙏🏼. Others are doing it alone.
On a finishing note, and to chime in with Conor , rock bottom is not rock bottom, it is touching the mirror of who you actually are. It is the ultimate initiation as there is no one left to blame but yourself. Completely humbling and immensely empowering at the exact same time. Ohh and hurts like hell 😆😘
So many great men write about this kind of stuff (hitting rock bottom and rising better)...it would be great if more young men read/listened to these stories. I interviewed David Brooks yesterday...he wrote The Second Mountain on all this. You might like it, steve.
Thanks Sarah, I will look it up at the Book Room, I have a book in me on the subject also. Tentatively titled , “it’s all your fault” , to help with the understanding that you lead yourself to this point for many reasons. And that you will lead yourself out of it, intact, with wisdom.
I wonder 🤔 men do this thing, what is the equivalent in women? The process is designed to integrate all of your “shadows”. Which are simply just things that you do to manipulate events and people to get your needs met. Simply because your own self belief and trust in voicing your feelings and needs has not been properly developed. Connor speaks of initiation , this is why it is vital, a society needs to initiate and tests its people, and clearly demonstrate that it has their back.
I suspect that the woman’s initiation is child birth , auto immune , or even the situation that you cannot have a child. All of which are things completely out of your control , but screaming in your face for attention. Where attention, care and patience are demanded and required.
To experience the deepest pit of grief , loss of control , and yet you are held by something greater than you , and all of the greatness which is you.
I just realised, LOVE! , is another initiation. To travel an affair with utmost honesty , complete abandon , deep care and ultimate selfishness. Is in itself the ultimate initiation, just a lot more gentle and fun. To let go of control , and let life have its way with you both 🥰 .
Can’t wait to dive into this one , follows the current themes to a tee. Nice work keeping the thread going while shifting continents 👌🏼
First thoughts , all linked , planet , people and relationship. Desperation and exhaustion to grab onto something / combined with a fuck it attitude. Need to be thin to be desirable , can’t handle feeling this way and following the body to a solution / fuck it , take the pill. (Does anyone else feel like we are slowly moving backwards in time ? I sense 1980, 1920, and probably 1905 all here at the same time. Socially and politically.
The JPs of the world suggesting marriage as a solution, (I know there are some handmaidens tale type dudes out there). But I feel that what JP was pointing at was that collaboration, connection and community make us happy.
We are social beings and cannot survive alone. Even though now we can (kind of, as soon it will be necessary to be in a relationship to be able to afford a home 🤔😔) get by solo, that part of us that needs touch and connection is essential.
And yes, dudes have devolved, just as the ladies have, but equally a lot of dudes have evolved considerably. The quality of the conversations that I have with men these days is heart warming.
Maybe it’s the pills and apps having an affect 😅, in all of their forms. Leading to poor behaviour and mass despair.
Feels like we are all taking responsibility for ourselves and not taking the pills, but left without a map forward. Organise a chat with Esther, and do a live feed date with Esther as chaperone 🤣.
I haven't properly thought this through, but you have me thinking about other communal living solutions. Maybe we should stop fixating of the nuclear family and return to other communal set-ups. Unfortunately, all the historical examples I can think of fixate on sex... Nunneries, abbeys, over to soldier barracks and brothels... But there have been options in the past that didn't involve hanging your happiness on one other person.
True, communal living is generally gender segregated. I wonder if rather than being a fixation on sex, it's the other way around? I immediately think of those communal cults where they turn into destructive, corrupt sex dens!
It would be lovely to see Parisian / Copenhagen / Stockholm style cities here in Australia. Apartments , with parks and forest easily accessible. Rewilding the outskirts and surrounding farmland being regenerated. Communal life on the street and in parks and our safe apartments to retreat to.
I have been pondering that option also , I can see a modular home park scenario for 25 to 45 year olds rather than over 55s. Which could actually be quite nice in the right environment.
It scares me what has happened, women have been able to get back their due rights and independence. And the ability to do as men do, but at what cost. What men do is not a good option 🤣. Now we have the predicament of two sides acting as manchilds with a fuck it attitude.
Even more scary is the fact that many people are now stuck financially in toxic or violent relationships or work situations with no viable escape route apart from the street.
It’s a cross roads and we will figure it out, new housing forms are definitely needed. Along with some deep reconciliation, apologies, and healthy new habits in relating. Both within genders, but also with our use and abuse of power. When trying to get our deeply deserved needs met.
Links to the planetary conundrum also , we can’t do it alone , but we are standing on either side of the river and scratching our heads. The female engineer needs to give clear direction to the male nurse on how to build a bridge while she is building hers to meet in the middle. He needs to care for her and her ills so she can complete her half. If they don’t both make it to the middle the bridge will collapse.
I found intermittent fasting to be incredibly easy and incredibly effective. And no side effects such as Ozempic has! Your analysis is really interesting and multiple-layered.
Yes, and there's a mountain of scientific research to back up the benefits of intermittent fasting. I don't know much about Ozempic, but it sounds like the kind of thing that's probably going to cause all kinds of nightmares down the track...
Love your thoughts on ozempic an unnatural solution to an unnatural problem sums it up nicely . Ah the thin fat divide. I came late to the sugar free party . Wow what a revelation . I gave up sugar both sweet and “savoury “ sugar nearly a year ago . Feel so grateful to have the means to access real food and scientific knowledge on my journey. I’m aware not everyone does. Feel sad to see many body positivity advocates giving in to image hegemony . We are enough as we are.
"Ozempic, I feel, is another instance of humans f*cking with the natural order of things, imposed on us by yet another multinational." This. It's all this. 🤯
AMA - sorry I am not sure where I am supposed to put these and you said anywhere! 😬
I am a strata manager (I look after residential apartment buildings) and I have being going hard on introducing sustainability to strata. I was so passionate that high density living would be an important step to get right for our future and this is part of sustainable living. I decided to study at uni and along with a tidal wave of information including from you I learnt the truth of the future. I attended energy conventions and political announcements realising that Perth and Australia have no intention of slowing down the damage and that more alarming statistics is what we will be facing. So here I am, wanting to fight and provide assistance for the community in urban living but I am no longer sure this is the way of the future, if the population crashes, we won’t need high density living and if we need to return to a simpler lifestyle will it be in apartments or back to suburbs? I am utterly alone in my industry and I can’t decide if this is an industry worth my energy to try make a difference or if it is doomed to fail
I think medium density is still needed Lee, for economic and efficiency reasons. And also for community development and reducing isolation. Cities and villages of medium density surrounded by nature. Sweden has a good model for how it can work well. They have a BC model which allows a group of individuals to create a BC that gets the loan to build a medium to high density building (generally 10-15 stories). Apartments have space for all the things, shared laundry room with nice efficient industrial sized machines. Craft room, workshop, storage. Buildings built for life, not investments rented out to people who will compromise and then move on.
Thanks Sarah. I think I read in a comment or maybe it was in your post, questioning whether discussions around gender issues, male drift, relationships, is needed right now. It couldn't be more needed IMO.
The work that Connor Beaton is doing is amazing, and so few men are doing it. He was new to me so after your podcast, I checked him out on his socials. Obviously, some really good stuff there about men doing the inner work, but there are some underlying notes of women-blaming, I think, that comes up. It's subtle though. One post he mentioned that women have to stop "emasculating" men in relationships. In another he talks about men being "domesticated". I just find that language problematic for so many reasons.
But just to tie to it back to the need to have these conversations in terms of the larger problems we are facing. Globally, the patriarchy is a structure that has lead to our current state of affairs (along with colonialism/racism). It's at the root. And it's not getting better. Authoritarianism, rooted in misogyny, is on the rise. Noting this study/article that correlates misogyny, authoritarianism, and climate change...
For example , I was dating a doctor , she was seeing me , the ex from New York was flying in , and a friend on the wings was sliding into her life simultaneously. She fell pregnant (felt like it was mine, but who knows). Found out all was aborted via text and a brief phone call. 🤔
Poor behaviour all around , including me for not calling out the erratic, unsustainable behaviour and saying , babe, slow down.
And in the end , you only attract who you are , this old chestnut will kick you in the guts and set you free. I mentioned this to her early one, and her reply was, wow poor you , you must be fucked 😂🤔😎😆
Now, right there was an opportunity to turn two lives around , through the most simplest of conversations.
Let me understand this. You also ‘joined’ a paid trip (but not *all* expenses paid, just what, most of them?) run by an Israeli company (nice obfuscation calling it a ‘family of Jewish heritage’), and yet your trip is different from those other paid journalist trips? Are you hearing yourself here? The hypocrisy is staggering.
Hi Joanne, are these genuine questions? Happy to help. I paid my expenses, but I was able to join the tour, lectures, visits with the group gratis. I don't make a secret of this and I disclose everywhere. My point in then post is about disclosing. I also explain in detail why I chose to go on this trip. You are accusing me of obfuscating about who owns Small Giants, or asking? It's owned by an Australian Jewish couple. As I say, the trip was about seeing and hearing from "both sides". It was a pretty even mix of content/access. I thought it was an important juncture in history for me to understand more of the complexity and it's also what I'm researching for my next book and relates to what I share here.
Just one note on tone. I really work hard to keep the conversation and tone here kind and curious, rather than antagonistic or binary. Challenge points, disagree, raise difficult perspectives...a lot of subscribers do and I love it, but can I ask that you do this in a tone that is less accusatory, harsh and about point-scoring? I raise this mostly because I'd be super upset if you used a similar approach with anyone else here. Cool?
On the Ozempic topic- this just feels like another capitalist plaster to maintain status quo and allowing corporations to continue poisoning us with ultra processed food. The focus has always wrongly been on weight rather than nutrition. You can be thin and still incredibly unhealthy and wise versa.
The book “ultra processed people” was great to give me the perspective I already had deep down. I actually did IQS many years ago and was totally refined sugar free for 2.5years. I had been on the very obese scale and lost over 20kg. In hindsight (although ofc sugar is a problem) I now question how much of the weight loss was down to me just cutting out all UPF at the same time.
As a society we are barely eating real food anymore. And it’s all interlinked: the climate crisis, the mental and physical health crisis, the social crisis. UPF in my opinion is both a symptom and contributing factor of the meta-crisis.
We are all so busy climbing the corporate ladder we no longer value the time it takes to prepare and eat real food. This deprives us of
1. the proper nutrition we need (making us physically sick)
2. The social interactions that come with eating a meal together (making us mentally sick due to lack of community and human connection)
3. True understanding of the food supply chain - we are so removed from ingredients and the death associated with meat eating for example, we no longer respect it (resulting in us wasting food / over consuming high carbon foods, which we all know has horrendous environmental consequences)
And this is all in the name of growth and profits by a hand full of multinationals who spend all their energy lobbying governments to avoid regulation and when failing this (like with HFSS legislation in the U.K.) they then spend millions trying to engineer even more ultra processed foods that would meet the regulations and continue to allow them to reap huge profits whilst fuelling overconsumptions (I would know, this was my last job before I finally quit working for big brands earlier this year).
They are all my concerns, too. I'm interviewing Chris on my first day back in Australia eek! And your point about the social interactions is important. One of the side effects of Ozempic is that you don't like eating and drinking and Helen's article picks up on this creating another divide ...friends who no longer want to come for dinner/ a drink.
That’s amazing, I can’t wait to hear that conversation between you and Chris! I’m fascinated by all things food and nutrition and convinced it is the key to many of the challenges we are facing as a society atm.
I have found myself liking my chubby body MORE as the Ozempic wave takes off. I feel relieved of the obligation of trying so damn hard to fight off what happens to women’s bodies as they age and letting myself and my body do things in a way that is natural and intuitive. Even if that means I am fat.
That's interesting, Paula. Is it because it all seems so absurd and going the other way feels like defiance... or?
I think so. I also let my hair go gray very early (30s) for the same reason, which is more of a feeling than a reason, really.
I love this. I'm summoning the courage to do same (hair)
I get a lot of compliments. What’s funny is that I still picture myself as having dark brown hair, and sometimes I’m surprised when I look in the mirror.
Yeah, I feel that way too! I walk every day (mostly) and eat healthy, and do intermittent fasting every so often, and the weight my body is at now is not what it was when I was 20, but not much else about me is the same as it was then either 😅
The podcast with Connor Beaton was the most fun I've had in a while. My husband and I listened together, pausing a debating it point by point. When we got through the first bottle of wine we moved onto the scotch...
Unfortunately, 37 minutes in (although it took us over 2 hours to get there) Connor said that the APA said, "traditional masculinity is on the whole harmful." We of course paused, debated, and finally looked up the quote, which is actually, " traditional masculinity—marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression—is, on the whole, harmful" Those words in the middle make a big difference!
We were well into the Scotch by then and agreed it was time to turn it off. A great podcast for some proper debate and discussion ☺️
This is very funny and lovely. Correct me if I'm wrong...Conner I recall is critical of such an assessment (that traditional masculinity should be deemed harmful). I agree, though, we need to be quite clear on terminology. I'm trying to watch myself and use phraseology like, "destructive masculinity" etc. to distinguish things. I'd be open to what you and your husband think
I've made a mistake. I read the question quickly, opened a notebook and wrote a long response, then came back to paste it... And realised I got the question wrong 🤣
But I've written it now, so here are "our" thoughts on the first 37 minutes of the podcast:
The first point of debate/discussion was the idea that men in particular need a right of passage ceremony or they'll never properly "grow up".
I found this interesting as I see my daughter & nieces hit puberty and get their first periods. It's terrifying. It's confusing. But it provides a challenge that she mostly navigates herself. So maybe it's fair to say boys need something different from girls in this sense, because girls all have that right of passage already.
My husband's point of debate was how Connor was referring to "men", but he really meant his own experience. It fits into a wider discussion across our family dynamics - I come from a family where the men are always obsessing about who is the top patriarch, are they challenging the young men enough, do the boys have proper male role models. My husband (and my sister's husband) *just don't care*. My husband never had a right of passage, but we've known each other since we were 15 (30 years ago!) and never had the types of conflict Connor described. Note that my husband still thinks this is an important discussion, but it isn't "men need this", just "some men need this"
Sarah started pushing towards a point really closely aligned with my husband's viewpoint - there is a massive difference between most men, the rank and file, and the men who are actually members of the patriarchy. He believes that the patriarchy itself harms those rank and file men.
That's when Connor made the argument that men are underrepresented in psychology and about the APA saying all traditional masculinity is negative. We paused and debated how a professional body could possibly say such an outrageous thing... Which led to looking it up, realising the actual APA statement had caveats that made it reasonable, and realising it was late and we were drunk.
Hopefully the rest of the podcast was as interesting and engaging as that first half, I just haven't had time to listen to the rest of it!
Nice reflection Kirsten, and I love your husbands response, glad to hear that he is happy just being who he is. I get the impression that men’s coaches quite often come with a lot of baggage. As does Connor and it can be difficult for them to not use their own experience as the expert opinion. A bias I think is in us all, and unfortunately stifles learning and growth.
A great point re periods and the initiation that it presents 👌🏼 It is definitely a defining journey , though challenging.
And YES!!! There is no toxic masculinity or toxic femininity (which is just as pervasive in society).
There is toxic behaviour brought on by insecurity and trauma. This stops the blaming and the shame and goes right to the root of the issue.
The one up man ship in your family makes men feel like shit and leads to dangerous behaviour and disconnection. (And substance abuse?)
A woman who is insecure and needs to emasculate her husband so that he will do her bidding or not leave is abusing him. The insecure man who passively or physically abuses his wife is the same. It is power games at play. Not gender.
Just look at the Netanyahus , his wife has severe mental health issues, and is incredibly insecure, as is he. She subconsciously and consciously controls her family through her trauma and dramas. Trying to maintain control of the external and the internal world consistently falls apart. This family dynamic is playing out into a whole country and potentially globally. Can I bring about enough misery so that people will just do as I ask? Force, abuse, disease and violence.
Great response, thank you Steve. One last thought - it doesn't just make men feel like shit and disconnected.
I literally emigrated to the other side of the world to get away from their power plays and protect my kids from it.
I can imagine Kirsten, sometimes it is necessary unfortunately to make boundaries that big. And thanks for highlighting that our own experiences are not universal. Its great to hear examples of others experiences, behaviours and rituals to shake up my own biases
I apologise for giving advice, it is a bad habit I know 🍋 But I love sharing observations and patterns, life amazes me and I am a commentator 😂
Watch out for it following you , I went to Sweden for 10 years to escape my familial demons , and my good Swedish friend did the exact same thing in reverse, he escaped to Australia. 😂
I needed that break though , and sounds like you did too in order raise the family in a healthy way. It was amazing to see things rearrange while I was absent from the situation and was also not feeding it. Everything fell into place when I was no longer judging or trying to change them. I just came home from a family gathering and it was the most beautiful one we have ever had. And last night I slept at my parents home with my daughter. She commented this morning that things have changed, the depression and sadness has lifted. She said that she would normally find it difficult to sleep there because the energy was to sad. But last night she slept so soundly and felt safe 🙏🏼🥰.
It will be interesting to see what happens with yours while you focus on your little ones and your good man 🙏🏼
For a proper reply - why do we need to categorise as masculine? Call it out as aggression, stoicism, etc.
And on the flip side , Hamas / ISIS / Taliban / America / England aka male one up man ship on who has the biggest dick or who loves God the most.
Take gender and religion out of it , it’s all just scared people being assholes
But that observation is not going to rebuild lives, families or cities. But I feel like the general population is learning it. We have come out of the post modern phase of narcissism, now into nihilism, and then hopefully once we hit rock bottom we can regroup into realism and optimism
me too
There is a danger in shaming masculinity, just as much as there is in shaming femininity. Both can become toxic in the wrong environment. A dominant tyrant can strip people of their power and lives. An overwhelming mother or matriarch can strip people of their power and lives just as quickly.
There will always be darkness in life , so there needs to be warriors to defend against it, who understand the tyrant in them. And there will always be the need for comfort and care, but without the pain of life , life withers and dies.
That is why organic food and wild food is more nutritious, it needs to build itself strong because of the sometimes harsh environment it is in.
Boys need to be taught how to be good men, who are unafraid to stand up to the rapist , misogynist, or tyrant. And who are able to feel these weaknesses in themselves also.
It’s happening , I was Ubering years back, and I had a bunch of young men in the car, bantering. We drove past some young women and one of the guys called out. We all felt it, the attractiveness of the women, and the wrongness of invading their space with voice.
One of the other lads spoke up and said mate don’t be so Weinstein 🙏🏼 I congratulated him.
I love that you and your husband did this! What a wonderful relationship you have, chewing the big stuff together. Congratulations. It’s special ❣️
me too
Honestly, I remember my parents doing the same thing when I was a kid and wouldn't have settled for a partner who didn't debate with me!
Anyone here have parents who would stay sitting in the car to talk things through?
Yes! Or drive us all around the block a few times until they came to a conclusion
Have to admit this is one pod I didn't listen to - I just didn't feel interested tbh! But I do love a good podcast to listen to with my husband so perhaps we will follow your lead and take this one in over a drink or two.
We are the same when we listen - Nate Hagens and Meg episodes carried us through a very lively road trip recently, much pausing and much discussion. Love it!
Love to hear ur thoughts after. I'm wanting to explore the bloke space a bit going forward, so keen to know if it does/doesn't interest people here
I need to catch up on my Nate Hagens 😁
Who is Meg? I'm not sure if I have time to follow another podcast, but if it's good then I'll squeeze it in!
Sorry I was typing quickly, I meant the Wild episodes with Nate and Margaret Wheatley!
Yes, I'm still trying to process the Margaret Wheatley episode. That one is going to be buzzing around in my head for quite a while...
The fun thing is…. You just can’t take Ozempic or Saxenda or Metformin…. And get a result.
It’s not a magic bullet.
Obesity is a serious illness, which I faced having developed leptin resistance and lipodema 4 years ago.
Thank GOD for modern medicine.
I no longer have a brain telling my fat cells there’s no energy to burn, while simultaneously storing the fat (energy) and shutting my body down to burn it.
And no, it wasn’t Ozempic I was on, but liraglutide…. And I ate in calorie deficit and followed strict dietary guidelines to make that happen.
It really annoys me that people think it’s easy to do this for the ones that actually need this medical intervention.
As for the others “using” it as a quick fix.
It’s not sustainable for them.
I say it’s a temporary solution unless they plan to change their lifestyle FOREVER
Thanks Lita. Yes, I'm worried in all this that the very real hormonal issues that obesity and diabetes patients suffer are overlooked...and the whole topic stays stuck in "a weight loss problem" paradigm.
I love having ultra thin people without medical degrees discuss MY health and act as though they have any say in the matter. Why is a diabetic more deserving of this drug than someone who is morbidly obese? Why is this diagnosis allowed to access treatment but this other (equally devastating) diagnosis is told they just need more will power? It's absolutely disgusting.
Hi Jo, very happy to respond. I'm not sure if you are directing your anger at me (I'm the ultra thin person?). I don't think anyone is more deserving...I was highlighting a divide that is emerging. And I agree that will power should not come into this debate. Again, reporting on the divides/debates that are happening. My point is that we need to be discussing the difficult issues better, preferably without anger.
A reason, so many struggle with their weight is that the food industry has weaponised their products to covertly exploit the addictive nature of sugar. There is virtually nothing available in the supermarket that doesn’t contain sugar nowadays. How helpful of them to come up with a new drug to help those of us who have succumbed to the culinary version of “crack cocaine” hidden in much of our food supply?
We know about those who are addicted to alcohol.
Yeast turns Sugar into alcohol.
It’s hardly a stretch of the imagination to suspect that sugar, for some people, is also a highly addictive substance.
yep, very much on top of this! Wrote the book on it x
Thank you, Sarah, for highlighting the issue of journalists' paid trips to Israel. It's extremely concerning to see so many prominent journalists and media platforms have accepted these trips - usually without declaring this in subsequent articles.
Meanwhile in Gaza, journalists are being killed at a shockingly high rate.
To quote Owen Jones in The Guardian yesterday:
"The mass slaughter of journalists is one of those horrors. According to the Committee to Protect Journalists (CPJ), this is the deadliest conflict for media workers they have ever recorded. A total of at least 57 – comprising 50 Palestinian and seven foreign journalists – have suffered violent deaths; another 100 have been injured, all in just seven weeks. To put those numbers in perspective, according to the International Federation of Journalists, a total of 68 media workers were killed on a global scale in the whole of 2022.
"Where, it must be asked, is the journalistic solidarity?"
Indeed. I've seen almost nothing about this in the Australian media, and yet several international organisations (including the Committee to Protect Journalists, the Foreign Press Association, the Arab and Middle Eastern Journalists Association, and Reporters Without Borders) have been raising their concerns about the Israeli government and IDF deliberately targeting Palestinian journalists in Gaza for weeks now.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/29/atrocities-gaza-journalists-media
Owen's work is incredible - I came across him re climate stuff. He goes hard! When it comes to media coverage of media, the Guardian and Crikey are really the only outlets that will tell it straight.
Yes, absolutely. Patrick Marlborough (who writes for Crikey) is another of my favourite journalists, as is Dave Milner, who writes for The Shot. Both have written some brilliant pieces recently on Israel/Gaza, the current state of Australian politics and the failures of our 'leaders' to act on climate change.
I just finished your chat with Connor, Sarah and you nailed it. It was not meandering at all. From a man’s perspective you touched on very relevant points which gave me a lot of insight. Both into myself but also what it is that women really want from us.
Your comment that you just need to know , that we know, what it is that’s going on internally. And that we have a game plan on what we are going to do about it. That was gold 🙏🏼 for me, as I am a classic over sharer (maybe that’s been noticed here 🤣).
Even though integrity and transparency are important values of mine. This made me realise that maybe she is not ready, or able, or interested in going to the places that I am comfortable with. And is it really necessary at this stage in getting to know each other? Do I hang on my partner too much in this? What areas can we agree to challenge each other on (maybe just relationship) and the rest, career / finance / purpose can be with friends, other men or professionals. Process our demons outside , game plan and execution inside the relationship.
A high five from men everywhere Sarah for that one 🙌🏼
The observation that men will voluntarily or subconsciously bring themselves to rock bottom , and also move towards challenge is 100% on target. This has played out for me in my life and all of the men around me. This is valuable for men to understand, and for women, we will , and have to trigger each other. Connor described this perfectly without the spiritual woo woo. Nature designed us to meet mates who balance and enhance our offspring, and ourselves, physically and emotionally (which are actually the same thing).
This mechanism is unavoidable, the one you love the most, will be at times the one you hate the most. Because they will expose our biggest fears and what we hate most about ourselves. It is how we express ourselves and take responsibility for our feelings and behaviour which dictate the growth, learning, repair and outcomes.
Connor explained the JP and AT issues perfectly , I have listened to both of these guys to see what they are about. And they hit the big bro and the father archetype internally.
I also liked how he explained the flip side to all of this, and the use of and confusion around controversial and inflammatory comments by AT, and the behaviour of women and the future challenges for women re porn and relationships.
AT talks of rough and dominating sex , talk of which excites men as they feel in charge and powerful, and think this is what women want, because of porn. But this also excites some women, segue to the porn and 50 Shades discussion.
Dominating or rather confident behaviour is natural, and is desirable, as a strong, and capable man who at times can be safely dominant, is a good thing. Both in the world but also in the bedroom. It is when this behaviour is spoken of , suggested by or conducted by boys and men who are obviously not strong, capable or mature. That this discussion goes into some very dark places. This brings up questions around how many women voted for Trump in America ( the grandfather version of AT 😅). And speaks of deeper human emotions, basic drives and values at play, which are also in play in this mine field. As the world changes , we are going to have to take a damn good look at ourselves, and feel deeply into our needs and values. While being mindful of the natural polarities of power (capital, money physical) and sex.
To get the ball rolling , I will initiate a men’s walking group here in Byron , to both help with my own sense of isolation and need of quality sounding boards. Along with other guys here that I know feel the same.
Luckily I have three men around me who joined me at rock bottom at the same time. And get it 🙏🏼. Others are doing it alone.
On a finishing note, and to chime in with Conor , rock bottom is not rock bottom, it is touching the mirror of who you actually are. It is the ultimate initiation as there is no one left to blame but yourself. Completely humbling and immensely empowering at the exact same time. Ohh and hurts like hell 😆😘
I enjoy reading your feedback.
A bloke's walking group sounds awesome.
So many great men write about this kind of stuff (hitting rock bottom and rising better)...it would be great if more young men read/listened to these stories. I interviewed David Brooks yesterday...he wrote The Second Mountain on all this. You might like it, steve.
Thanks Sarah, I will look it up at the Book Room, I have a book in me on the subject also. Tentatively titled , “it’s all your fault” , to help with the understanding that you lead yourself to this point for many reasons. And that you will lead yourself out of it, intact, with wisdom.
I wonder 🤔 men do this thing, what is the equivalent in women? The process is designed to integrate all of your “shadows”. Which are simply just things that you do to manipulate events and people to get your needs met. Simply because your own self belief and trust in voicing your feelings and needs has not been properly developed. Connor speaks of initiation , this is why it is vital, a society needs to initiate and tests its people, and clearly demonstrate that it has their back.
I suspect that the woman’s initiation is child birth , auto immune , or even the situation that you cannot have a child. All of which are things completely out of your control , but screaming in your face for attention. Where attention, care and patience are demanded and required.
To experience the deepest pit of grief , loss of control , and yet you are held by something greater than you , and all of the greatness which is you.
I just realised, LOVE! , is another initiation. To travel an affair with utmost honesty , complete abandon , deep care and ultimate selfishness. Is in itself the ultimate initiation, just a lot more gentle and fun. To let go of control , and let life have its way with you both 🥰 .
A friend just finished the second mountain 👌🏼
He was telling my bro circle about it ✨
He just spent the last 10 months experiencing stage 4 cancer colonising and then leaving his body
He mentioned that everything in his life had prepared him for the experience
Rock bottom 🙏🏼
If you are interested in initiation work , Dr Arne Rubinstein is doing probably the most accessible and structured processes
https://ritesofpassageinstitute.org/
Have attended a father / daughter camp but they also do mother / son and male initiation
Can’t wait to dive into this one , follows the current themes to a tee. Nice work keeping the thread going while shifting continents 👌🏼
First thoughts , all linked , planet , people and relationship. Desperation and exhaustion to grab onto something / combined with a fuck it attitude. Need to be thin to be desirable , can’t handle feeling this way and following the body to a solution / fuck it , take the pill. (Does anyone else feel like we are slowly moving backwards in time ? I sense 1980, 1920, and probably 1905 all here at the same time. Socially and politically.
The JPs of the world suggesting marriage as a solution, (I know there are some handmaidens tale type dudes out there). But I feel that what JP was pointing at was that collaboration, connection and community make us happy.
We are social beings and cannot survive alone. Even though now we can (kind of, as soon it will be necessary to be in a relationship to be able to afford a home 🤔😔) get by solo, that part of us that needs touch and connection is essential.
And yes, dudes have devolved, just as the ladies have, but equally a lot of dudes have evolved considerably. The quality of the conversations that I have with men these days is heart warming.
Maybe it’s the pills and apps having an affect 😅, in all of their forms. Leading to poor behaviour and mass despair.
Feels like we are all taking responsibility for ourselves and not taking the pills, but left without a map forward. Organise a chat with Esther, and do a live feed date with Esther as chaperone 🤣.
I haven't properly thought this through, but you have me thinking about other communal living solutions. Maybe we should stop fixating of the nuclear family and return to other communal set-ups. Unfortunately, all the historical examples I can think of fixate on sex... Nunneries, abbeys, over to soldier barracks and brothels... But there have been options in the past that didn't involve hanging your happiness on one other person.
True, communal living is generally gender segregated. I wonder if rather than being a fixation on sex, it's the other way around? I immediately think of those communal cults where they turn into destructive, corrupt sex dens!
I hadn't thought of the cult aspect - that is a huge can of worms that I am not qualified to comment on!
That’s what the over 55 estates turn into too 🤣
There is a phD on that subject , lots of people , relaxed , in a close environment , with to much time on our hands. We turn into Bonobos 😂
It would be lovely to see Parisian / Copenhagen / Stockholm style cities here in Australia. Apartments , with parks and forest easily accessible. Rewilding the outskirts and surrounding farmland being regenerated. Communal life on the street and in parks and our safe apartments to retreat to.
Although Paris could do with more greenery. They need some vertical garden action here...
I have been pondering that option also , I can see a modular home park scenario for 25 to 45 year olds rather than over 55s. Which could actually be quite nice in the right environment.
It scares me what has happened, women have been able to get back their due rights and independence. And the ability to do as men do, but at what cost. What men do is not a good option 🤣. Now we have the predicament of two sides acting as manchilds with a fuck it attitude.
Even more scary is the fact that many people are now stuck financially in toxic or violent relationships or work situations with no viable escape route apart from the street.
It’s a cross roads and we will figure it out, new housing forms are definitely needed. Along with some deep reconciliation, apologies, and healthy new habits in relating. Both within genders, but also with our use and abuse of power. When trying to get our deeply deserved needs met.
Links to the planetary conundrum also , we can’t do it alone , but we are standing on either side of the river and scratching our heads. The female engineer needs to give clear direction to the male nurse on how to build a bridge while she is building hers to meet in the middle. He needs to care for her and her ills so she can complete her half. If they don’t both make it to the middle the bridge will collapse.
And all with small, considered, caring steps 👌🏼
I found intermittent fasting to be incredibly easy and incredibly effective. And no side effects such as Ozempic has! Your analysis is really interesting and multiple-layered.
Yes, and there's a mountain of scientific research to back up the benefits of intermittent fasting. I don't know much about Ozempic, but it sounds like the kind of thing that's probably going to cause all kinds of nightmares down the track...
familiar trajectory now, right?
Indeed! And as with so many things, it seems we never learn...
Intermittent fasting is brilliant in so many ways, discipline, reseting the appetite ie feeling proper hunger vs emotional eating. And it is free ☺️
Screw Ozempic, love and exercise are the best contributors to health and wellbeing X
Love your thoughts on ozempic an unnatural solution to an unnatural problem sums it up nicely . Ah the thin fat divide. I came late to the sugar free party . Wow what a revelation . I gave up sugar both sweet and “savoury “ sugar nearly a year ago . Feel so grateful to have the means to access real food and scientific knowledge on my journey. I’m aware not everyone does. Feel sad to see many body positivity advocates giving in to image hegemony . We are enough as we are.
"Ozempic, I feel, is another instance of humans f*cking with the natural order of things, imposed on us by yet another multinational." This. It's all this. 🤯
AMA - sorry I am not sure where I am supposed to put these and you said anywhere! 😬
I am a strata manager (I look after residential apartment buildings) and I have being going hard on introducing sustainability to strata. I was so passionate that high density living would be an important step to get right for our future and this is part of sustainable living. I decided to study at uni and along with a tidal wave of information including from you I learnt the truth of the future. I attended energy conventions and political announcements realising that Perth and Australia have no intention of slowing down the damage and that more alarming statistics is what we will be facing. So here I am, wanting to fight and provide assistance for the community in urban living but I am no longer sure this is the way of the future, if the population crashes, we won’t need high density living and if we need to return to a simpler lifestyle will it be in apartments or back to suburbs? I am utterly alone in my industry and I can’t decide if this is an industry worth my energy to try make a difference or if it is doomed to fail
I think medium density is still needed Lee, for economic and efficiency reasons. And also for community development and reducing isolation. Cities and villages of medium density surrounded by nature. Sweden has a good model for how it can work well. They have a BC model which allows a group of individuals to create a BC that gets the loan to build a medium to high density building (generally 10-15 stories). Apartments have space for all the things, shared laundry room with nice efficient industrial sized machines. Craft room, workshop, storage. Buildings built for life, not investments rented out to people who will compromise and then move on.
Thanks Sarah. I think I read in a comment or maybe it was in your post, questioning whether discussions around gender issues, male drift, relationships, is needed right now. It couldn't be more needed IMO.
The work that Connor Beaton is doing is amazing, and so few men are doing it. He was new to me so after your podcast, I checked him out on his socials. Obviously, some really good stuff there about men doing the inner work, but there are some underlying notes of women-blaming, I think, that comes up. It's subtle though. One post he mentioned that women have to stop "emasculating" men in relationships. In another he talks about men being "domesticated". I just find that language problematic for so many reasons.
But just to tie to it back to the need to have these conversations in terms of the larger problems we are facing. Globally, the patriarchy is a structure that has lead to our current state of affairs (along with colonialism/racism). It's at the root. And it's not getting better. Authoritarianism, rooted in misogyny, is on the rise. Noting this study/article that correlates misogyny, authoritarianism, and climate change...
https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/asap.12347
For example , I was dating a doctor , she was seeing me , the ex from New York was flying in , and a friend on the wings was sliding into her life simultaneously. She fell pregnant (felt like it was mine, but who knows). Found out all was aborted via text and a brief phone call. 🤔
Poor behaviour all around , including me for not calling out the erratic, unsustainable behaviour and saying , babe, slow down.
And in the end , you only attract who you are , this old chestnut will kick you in the guts and set you free. I mentioned this to her early one, and her reply was, wow poor you , you must be fucked 😂🤔😎😆
Now, right there was an opportunity to turn two lives around , through the most simplest of conversations.
Let me understand this. You also ‘joined’ a paid trip (but not *all* expenses paid, just what, most of them?) run by an Israeli company (nice obfuscation calling it a ‘family of Jewish heritage’), and yet your trip is different from those other paid journalist trips? Are you hearing yourself here? The hypocrisy is staggering.
Hi Joanne, are these genuine questions? Happy to help. I paid my expenses, but I was able to join the tour, lectures, visits with the group gratis. I don't make a secret of this and I disclose everywhere. My point in then post is about disclosing. I also explain in detail why I chose to go on this trip. You are accusing me of obfuscating about who owns Small Giants, or asking? It's owned by an Australian Jewish couple. As I say, the trip was about seeing and hearing from "both sides". It was a pretty even mix of content/access. I thought it was an important juncture in history for me to understand more of the complexity and it's also what I'm researching for my next book and relates to what I share here.
Just one note on tone. I really work hard to keep the conversation and tone here kind and curious, rather than antagonistic or binary. Challenge points, disagree, raise difficult perspectives...a lot of subscribers do and I love it, but can I ask that you do this in a tone that is less accusatory, harsh and about point-scoring? I raise this mostly because I'd be super upset if you used a similar approach with anyone else here. Cool?