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I was thinking on the same lines. But I feel that if I give up on hope I will need to tackle grief and I'm just not ready for that.

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that's fair enough...or maybe the conversation here will help

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Interesting you should say that. I think IтАЩm already grieving but havenтАЩt been able to name it for what it is.

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there's a word for it - anticipatory grief.

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Yes. I think IтАЩve been fluctuating between hope and grief for awhile, slowly coming through thatтАж. Mostly with the help of Sarah and this community.

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Not sure whatтАЩs on the otherside though.

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