Some precious words from Nick Cave which helped me negotiate my own grief. "It seems to me, that if we love, we grieve. That’s the deal. That’s the pact. Grief and love are forever intertwined. Grief is the terrible reminder of the depths of our love and, like love, grief is non-negotiable. There is a vastness to grief that overwhelms our minuscule selves. We are tiny, trembling clusters of atoms subsumed within grief’s awesome presence. It occupies the core of our being and extends through our fingers to the limits of the universe.
I like David’s take on falling until you fall into yourself. Grief is like an ocean to me with waves that duck you under, spin you about and leave you gasping as you hit the surface once more.
Initially it’s like a stormy sea and the duckings are frequent and relentless. Over time the ocean calms but suddenly out of nowhere, a song, a smell, a photo, a something is a wave the ducks you under.
6 years on from my husbands passing and I still get the occasional ducking.
Your life is so unsettled right now, you really didn’t need this. Neither did you friend who passed. Hope you have someone over there to anchor you while you weather this storm.
This totally hits home for me. 2.5 months ago I had a tfmr (termination of pregnancy for medical reasons) at 18 weeks. Very different to losing someone you know of course. But feeling like the stormy sea is calming a tiny bit this week. and I have done quite a bit of crying in public with all this! Sending you all so much love , hugs, strength and all the rest.
A quote that helped me once during a period of disbelief and grief:
“Just walk fearlessly into the house of mourning, for grief is just love squaring up to its oldest enemy. And after all these mortal human years, love is up to the challenge.”
― Catherine Burns, The Moth Presents: All These Wonders: True Stories About Facing the Unknown
I’m so sorry for your loss Sarah. I didn’t really understand what the words “rest in peace” meant until I lost my best friend. May Tim rest peacefully. May these next liminal days bring you close to him. And may we all “apprentice ourselves to the curve of our own disappearance” in this time. Much love.
Hi Sarah, Tim taught my husband and I to meditate 20 years ago as we began our IVF journey. I swear my kids came out calm because of that. Tim agreed.
For some reason I pressed his instagram handle this morning and discovered this terrible news. I thought of you immediately. Happen to be in Sydney and walked in the rain past his old Paddo rd hq - trying to get my head around it. We have another angel. Keep your eyes on the horizon. With love, Celia.
I'm not one who is blessed with the right words at these dreadful times. I hope you can surround yourself with people who can hold you, listen to you and let you deal at your pace. Much love to you Sarah. x
I am so very sorry for your loss, Sarah. Your words rang so true and strong to me, as my beloved Mum passed away in Switzerland 10 days ago. Sending you love and strength at this challenging time xo
Thank you. It was her passionate desire to end her life on her own terms. We respected her wishes and were with her when the time came. It was an honour, if not extremely surreal...
Yes! We absolutely said goodbye and had been planning it for the last six months or so in intensive detail... Happy to talk about it any time if you are interested in the VAD issue. Yes - I am the new subscriber from Sutton (now living in Yass, via Canberra, Sydney and Melbourne) and I was at Sutton Primary in the 1970s. I'm a little older than you lol (dob 1966). Did you have Chris Bayliss as your Principal?
Yes! Chris was the Principal - shorts, long socks and sandals? He was a wonderful man. Very good to my mum and me and my brothers. I was there in the early 80s
Sending much love and deepest hugs Sarah, I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend. I wish you the guidance of a higher power as you slowly negotiate the path of grief X
That was "Sir"! Huge part of my childhood. It was a one teacher, one room school when I started. My youngest sister started school too young in order to keep the school open, as pupil numbers were so low... I loved "Sir" (although he was very strict!) and I have many fond memories of that school. So many special things we got to do and learn about because of him and the country location. And the more innocent times... I started Year 7 at Lyneham High in 1979, so we just missed each other :)
Such beautiful words, they resonate deeply. I have fallen and fallen and fallen and landed at myself. Wishing you gentleness and compassion on the turbulent journey ahead. Thanks for being real, thanks for sharing 🙏❤️
Some precious words from Nick Cave which helped me negotiate my own grief. "It seems to me, that if we love, we grieve. That’s the deal. That’s the pact. Grief and love are forever intertwined. Grief is the terrible reminder of the depths of our love and, like love, grief is non-negotiable. There is a vastness to grief that overwhelms our minuscule selves. We are tiny, trembling clusters of atoms subsumed within grief’s awesome presence. It occupies the core of our being and extends through our fingers to the limits of the universe.
That is indeed wonderful.
Grief is also beautiful.
Grief is also beautiful. Yes, yes! So many holding you, beautiful lady. x
I like David’s take on falling until you fall into yourself. Grief is like an ocean to me with waves that duck you under, spin you about and leave you gasping as you hit the surface once more.
Initially it’s like a stormy sea and the duckings are frequent and relentless. Over time the ocean calms but suddenly out of nowhere, a song, a smell, a photo, a something is a wave the ducks you under.
6 years on from my husbands passing and I still get the occasional ducking.
Your life is so unsettled right now, you really didn’t need this. Neither did you friend who passed. Hope you have someone over there to anchor you while you weather this storm.
Go gently. 😔
Thank you. I'm holding. x
I am sitting in a cafe in Melbourne being dunked
I wonder what people think when they see someone cry at a table while trying to drink a coffee
This totally hits home for me. 2.5 months ago I had a tfmr (termination of pregnancy for medical reasons) at 18 weeks. Very different to losing someone you know of course. But feeling like the stormy sea is calming a tiny bit this week. and I have done quite a bit of crying in public with all this! Sending you all so much love , hugs, strength and all the rest.
Sending love and strength to your Sarah.
A quote that helped me once during a period of disbelief and grief:
“Just walk fearlessly into the house of mourning, for grief is just love squaring up to its oldest enemy. And after all these mortal human years, love is up to the challenge.”
― Catherine Burns, The Moth Presents: All These Wonders: True Stories About Facing the Unknown
love is up to the challenge!
Beautiful words Sass. Your family is grieving with you.
Thanks Dad. x
I’m so sorry for your loss Sarah. I didn’t really understand what the words “rest in peace” meant until I lost my best friend. May Tim rest peacefully. May these next liminal days bring you close to him. And may we all “apprentice ourselves to the curve of our own disappearance” in this time. Much love.
I love that quote - may we all “apprentice ourselves to the curve of our own disappearance” from David Whyte.
Hi Sarah, Tim taught my husband and I to meditate 20 years ago as we began our IVF journey. I swear my kids came out calm because of that. Tim agreed.
For some reason I pressed his instagram handle this morning and discovered this terrible news. I thought of you immediately. Happen to be in Sydney and walked in the rain past his old Paddo rd hq - trying to get my head around it. We have another angel. Keep your eyes on the horizon. With love, Celia.
I'm not one who is blessed with the right words at these dreadful times. I hope you can surround yourself with people who can hold you, listen to you and let you deal at your pace. Much love to you Sarah. x
I am so very sorry for your loss, Sarah. Your words rang so true and strong to me, as my beloved Mum passed away in Switzerland 10 days ago. Sending you love and strength at this challenging time xo
I'm send you and her a prayer.
Thank you. It was her passionate desire to end her life on her own terms. We respected her wishes and were with her when the time came. It was an honour, if not extremely surreal...
That's big. Did you get to say goodbye? Karen, are you the new subscriber from Sutton? I went to Sutton Primary.
Thank you for sharing your words. And keeping us connected. Here for you. I’m heart broken.
And me for you AK x
Yes! We absolutely said goodbye and had been planning it for the last six months or so in intensive detail... Happy to talk about it any time if you are interested in the VAD issue. Yes - I am the new subscriber from Sutton (now living in Yass, via Canberra, Sydney and Melbourne) and I was at Sutton Primary in the 1970s. I'm a little older than you lol (dob 1966). Did you have Chris Bayliss as your Principal?
Yes! Chris was the Principal - shorts, long socks and sandals? He was a wonderful man. Very good to my mum and me and my brothers. I was there in the early 80s
Sending much love and deepest hugs Sarah, I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend. I wish you the guidance of a higher power as you slowly negotiate the path of grief X
In solidarity 💜🙏
That was "Sir"! Huge part of my childhood. It was a one teacher, one room school when I started. My youngest sister started school too young in order to keep the school open, as pupil numbers were so low... I loved "Sir" (although he was very strict!) and I have many fond memories of that school. So many special things we got to do and learn about because of him and the country location. And the more innocent times... I started Year 7 at Lyneham High in 1979, so we just missed each other :)
Started Lyneham High in 1986 I think!
I am in shock and heartbroken 💔
Yes. I understand Kei.x
I have no words. Thinking of you. 💔💔💔
Such beautiful words, they resonate deeply. I have fallen and fallen and fallen and landed at myself. Wishing you gentleness and compassion on the turbulent journey ahead. Thanks for being real, thanks for sharing 🙏❤️
These words are perfect.