I am 53. I waited until I was 52 to get married. You're me made bad choices, but was very conscious of it. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never get married, because I know I wasn't making good choices. Then I met my husband.
I have always resolved to just age gracefully. No HRT. No covering the gray. Just accepting that I was changing. It's made my 50s great! I just focus on the good stuff. My farm. We bought it when I was 49, and we're loving it.
My 40s were great. My 50s are great, too, in a different way.
Happy birthday!! I'm 53 years young and honestly loving my life! I feel steady and powerful, I lean in to myself more now, and I've become an expert at letting all the BS go, too. Cheers to us for rocking this part of our lives! And embrace your glorious grey hair! I did and get more compliments now than I ever did before! xx
Cheers to letting the BS go! Re Grey hair - I think people are genuinely looking for role models. When we see people like you, it's like, phew, thank goodness
As a 30 something woman - we absolutely are looking for role models. A tv series about a grey haired, 50 something woman who just fled Sydney for Paris? That’s a series I’d watch, rather than that ridiculous Emily faffing about over there 😜
As a boomer in my mid 60s I secretly refer to myself as the baby who didn’t boom. Never married, no kids, no home let alone investment properties, living below the poverty line. And yet. Gentle activism that I gravitated towards in my early 60s has enlivened me and given me purpose and joy like nothing previously. Just want to go down swinging and singing the song of life and love. There’s joy to be found if you follow your creative spirit. Everyone has it. Happy birthday Sarah. May your creative bucket keep filling and overflowing.
Actually I stole that from one of your interviews, I forget which, you were talking about this concept of meantime and it resonated. It's what we're all living through.
Happy birthday, welcome to the club. I contemplate aging quite often. Others are starting to see me differently and challenge my ageless self perception. The young girl who got up for me on the tram effectively told me so. The other day my knees creaked as I sat on my haunches and don't remember them doing that before! Yet, I see so much ahead of me to do
I am sure you will be the same. Curiosity keeps you young and you seem to be bountiful in it. All the best
Love that I was the 50th person to like this post. I turned 50 six months ago, but started thinking about “elderhood” in my 40s when reading Richard Roger’s “Falling upward.” Combining that with Margaret Wheatley on warriors for sane leadership, and I’m enjoying my journey into becoming a real elder. Happy Birthday Sarah!
Happy Birthday Sarah! Hope it was a wonderful one with your friends and family!
I am 47-almost-48 and beginning to feel that tiny bit more confident about who I am and caring less about what people think. I'm conscious that I have an 8 year old daughter and want to model positive behavior (and hopefully some wisdom!) for her as she moves into tween and teen life. The Where I Am is still a work in progress. I am grateful for my small family and an amazing array of female friends from different countries, communities and backgrounds, some near and (too many) far flung - though it does inspire ALL the travel. I am a photographer and want to do more documentary/journalistic work (currently most family portraits which I do enjoy but want to of more real life subjects) but am unsure if I missed the boat on that due to . ..ahem . . .age. I'm almost too conscious of time passing and that leads to panicking which does not make good decisions nor good self talk. But I am finding myself reading a LOT more in the past year (books, news, Substack), listening a lot more (podcasts, friends) and valuing real and in person conversations, and expanding my world rather than contracting it.
I loved this. As it happens we share a birthday. I tuned 49. Happy Birthday!!
Not only have I realised life is no longer a dress rehearsal, but I’ve realised today l, now, is the good old days.
I still need to give myself plenty of good talkings to about the body image aspects (I’m not graceful, yet). But the grace and calm I feel emotionally (is wisdom in there too?) is something truly something special.
When I turned 30 I really struggled with that number. When I turned 40 I felt an excitement for the future, a wisdom, a beginning of finding my true self and owning it... I’m now 44 and busy excavating and digging my whole self out of the crap that society has piled on... and I’m looking forward to 50, where less fucks are given, and even more so now, after hearing your wise words Sarah ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Happy Birthday Sarah! I’m a recent subscriber and have found your writing to be so on-point and relatable. Post-COVID, I have relocated back to Bangkok to be closer to family after having lived in the UK for 25+ years.
I am struggling to find my tribe over here, and somehow, your words gave me so much comfort. I am seeing the social trends - on the geopolitical level, country leaders are shifting towards nationalism (save ourselves first. F*ck immigrants) to gain votes. Within social circles, classism mindset is getting worse (poor people deserves no help). And within individual level, like you mentioned - love me well or leave me alone mindset.
We are all hurt. And hurt people hurt people. There’s definitely less compassion being passed around these days.
But you are absolutely right when you said that we must give when the opportunity arises. I’m trying to lead life this way but I must admit that sometimes, I feel my kindness also eroding.
Happy birthday, Sarah. I'm turning 50 in March and I just don't get how that happened so quickly? Inside I feel much younger, it's just when looking in the mirror that I don't recognise the person inside - all the chiches are true. I'm more accepting of the physical degradation but the brain fog can go to hell.
Bravo, my friend! Happy 50th! You've summed up getting older wonderfully, says the now 60 year old. And thank you for the references to Miller and Beauvoir, 2 great minds too.
I've reading some on the 'holy longing' - what we do with the fire inside of us. I think my fire is stronger now than when I was a 30-something. Maybe because I subsconciously sense there are less years ahead now, but it made me think of you as I read and contemplated how we channel the fire inside .
Go well, my friend. Thank you for the continued fire, wisdom and heart for loving life and loving well. xx
I like the part regarding the urgency that this milestone brings
Agency, urgency, and emergency all speak to the same things, just at different volumes 😆
Our 30s give us agency with our lives, mixed with the ideas of the world and the mind
Our 50s I can imagine (almost there but I can feel the momentum) brings the urgency. What are our true desires that are unfulfilled, what draws our attention and needs our help
I am guessing that our 70s will bring emergency, in the relaxing into a final destination. Which does not necessarily need to be stressful
Emergency asks us to pay attention only to what is emerging in our present life, and give it our all. The gift of elders and elder hood. Intense presence.
Lá bhreithlá shona duit Sarah, this is so beautiful and cohesifying (tired brain new word). ‘The older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune’ 🍀💚
Oh, the Irish have a phrase for everything!
I am 53. I waited until I was 52 to get married. You're me made bad choices, but was very conscious of it. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never get married, because I know I wasn't making good choices. Then I met my husband.
I have always resolved to just age gracefully. No HRT. No covering the gray. Just accepting that I was changing. It's made my 50s great! I just focus on the good stuff. My farm. We bought it when I was 49, and we're loving it.
My 40s were great. My 50s are great, too, in a different way.
Also, you are gorgeous!
I like your story, Jennifer.
Thank you! I certainly like how it's turning out. 😉
I LOVE your approach to life!
Aww, thank you!
I figure aging is inevitable. I'd rather face it with grace.
You're SO right....
*younger me
Happy birthday!! I'm 53 years young and honestly loving my life! I feel steady and powerful, I lean in to myself more now, and I've become an expert at letting all the BS go, too. Cheers to us for rocking this part of our lives! And embrace your glorious grey hair! I did and get more compliments now than I ever did before! xx
Cheers to letting the BS go! Re Grey hair - I think people are genuinely looking for role models. When we see people like you, it's like, phew, thank goodness
As a 30 something woman - we absolutely are looking for role models. A tv series about a grey haired, 50 something woman who just fled Sydney for Paris? That’s a series I’d watch, rather than that ridiculous Emily faffing about over there 😜
I adore this comment. That Emily show is somehow so very colonialist
As a boomer in my mid 60s I secretly refer to myself as the baby who didn’t boom. Never married, no kids, no home let alone investment properties, living below the poverty line. And yet. Gentle activism that I gravitated towards in my early 60s has enlivened me and given me purpose and joy like nothing previously. Just want to go down swinging and singing the song of life and love. There’s joy to be found if you follow your creative spirit. Everyone has it. Happy birthday Sarah. May your creative bucket keep filling and overflowing.
May yours, too.
PS I'm writing a chapter right now called "The Meantime"
Actually I stole that from one of your interviews, I forget which, you were talking about this concept of meantime and it resonated. It's what we're all living through.
Happy birthday, welcome to the club. I contemplate aging quite often. Others are starting to see me differently and challenge my ageless self perception. The young girl who got up for me on the tram effectively told me so. The other day my knees creaked as I sat on my haunches and don't remember them doing that before! Yet, I see so much ahead of me to do
I am sure you will be the same. Curiosity keeps you young and you seem to be bountiful in it. All the best
"Curiosity keeps you young" - yes, this is so true!!
Others perceptions is a big one! How you feel vs how you’re seen.
Happy birthday! And being not too far behind you in candles, this made me want to embrace this energy now, rather than waiting a few years. 🔥
Yesssss. Don't wait. As I say, the times are also speeding things up.
Love that I was the 50th person to like this post. I turned 50 six months ago, but started thinking about “elderhood” in my 40s when reading Richard Roger’s “Falling upward.” Combining that with Margaret Wheatley on warriors for sane leadership, and I’m enjoying my journey into becoming a real elder. Happy Birthday Sarah!
A few people here have flagged elderhood. It's a wonderful thing to contemplate.
Richard Rohr - typo
Monday just looks a whole lot better ! Thanks Sarah.
Mine too
Happy Birthday Sarah! Hope it was a wonderful one with your friends and family!
I am 47-almost-48 and beginning to feel that tiny bit more confident about who I am and caring less about what people think. I'm conscious that I have an 8 year old daughter and want to model positive behavior (and hopefully some wisdom!) for her as she moves into tween and teen life. The Where I Am is still a work in progress. I am grateful for my small family and an amazing array of female friends from different countries, communities and backgrounds, some near and (too many) far flung - though it does inspire ALL the travel. I am a photographer and want to do more documentary/journalistic work (currently most family portraits which I do enjoy but want to of more real life subjects) but am unsure if I missed the boat on that due to . ..ahem . . .age. I'm almost too conscious of time passing and that leads to panicking which does not make good decisions nor good self talk. But I am finding myself reading a LOT more in the past year (books, news, Substack), listening a lot more (podcasts, friends) and valuing real and in person conversations, and expanding my world rather than contracting it.
Liz, I noticed the same - I wanted to learn more, get help shifting and expanding.
Sorry Sarah - one more thing. I read this in the NYT this morning and thought of you: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/09/science/conservation-romania-beech-trees.html
I loved this. As it happens we share a birthday. I tuned 49. Happy Birthday!!
Not only have I realised life is no longer a dress rehearsal, but I’ve realised today l, now, is the good old days.
I still need to give myself plenty of good talkings to about the body image aspects (I’m not graceful, yet). But the grace and calm I feel emotionally (is wisdom in there too?) is something truly something special.
the grace just comes...a giving in "with".
Yes, today is the good old days!
This all a thousand times 👏🏻
When I turned 30 I really struggled with that number. When I turned 40 I felt an excitement for the future, a wisdom, a beginning of finding my true self and owning it... I’m now 44 and busy excavating and digging my whole self out of the crap that society has piled on... and I’m looking forward to 50, where less fucks are given, and even more so now, after hearing your wise words Sarah ⭐️⭐️⭐️
glad I can make the future sound bright!
I love how you phrased that Elizabeth. Another 44 year old here doing the same excavation.
Yes! 41 here and echo those sentiments completely Elizabeth!
Happy Birthday Sarah! I’m a recent subscriber and have found your writing to be so on-point and relatable. Post-COVID, I have relocated back to Bangkok to be closer to family after having lived in the UK for 25+ years.
I am struggling to find my tribe over here, and somehow, your words gave me so much comfort. I am seeing the social trends - on the geopolitical level, country leaders are shifting towards nationalism (save ourselves first. F*ck immigrants) to gain votes. Within social circles, classism mindset is getting worse (poor people deserves no help). And within individual level, like you mentioned - love me well or leave me alone mindset.
We are all hurt. And hurt people hurt people. There’s definitely less compassion being passed around these days.
But you are absolutely right when you said that we must give when the opportunity arises. I’m trying to lead life this way but I must admit that sometimes, I feel my kindness also eroding.
Happy birthday, Sarah. I'm turning 50 in March and I just don't get how that happened so quickly? Inside I feel much younger, it's just when looking in the mirror that I don't recognise the person inside - all the chiches are true. I'm more accepting of the physical degradation but the brain fog can go to hell.
I find it fitting that I actually can't see myself as well in the mirror...life sorts us all out!
Haha, true :-)
Bravo, my friend! Happy 50th! You've summed up getting older wonderfully, says the now 60 year old. And thank you for the references to Miller and Beauvoir, 2 great minds too.
I've reading some on the 'holy longing' - what we do with the fire inside of us. I think my fire is stronger now than when I was a 30-something. Maybe because I subsconciously sense there are less years ahead now, but it made me think of you as I read and contemplated how we channel the fire inside .
Go well, my friend. Thank you for the continued fire, wisdom and heart for loving life and loving well. xx
Happy belated 60th, Ian! Thanks for always being "there"
Happy Birthday Sarah
I like the part regarding the urgency that this milestone brings
Agency, urgency, and emergency all speak to the same things, just at different volumes 😆
Our 30s give us agency with our lives, mixed with the ideas of the world and the mind
Our 50s I can imagine (almost there but I can feel the momentum) brings the urgency. What are our true desires that are unfulfilled, what draws our attention and needs our help
I am guessing that our 70s will bring emergency, in the relaxing into a final destination. Which does not necessarily need to be stressful
Emergency asks us to pay attention only to what is emerging in our present life, and give it our all. The gift of elders and elder hood. Intense presence.
Hope that it is a fab day ✌🏼
Happy birthday, Sarah! Yep, aging is just that. A fact. And with acceptance comes a really special kind of peace.