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Replace alcohol with any other mind altering substance / drug and I wonder if all / any of those are equally as ‘spiritual’ and justifiable? Cocaine, Cannabis, Mushrooms, LSD etc...

I used to rely on alcohol to ‘escape’ to ‘be free’ of my own thoughts and actions etc, similarly as a student studying a creative subject, I used cannabis to ‘enhance my creativity’ ... free up my ideas etc... but these were all just short term fixes. These were all solutions to deeper issues of unsettledness and deeper unhappiness in myself.

Now... after much work, inspired by some of your very own books, change of diet, regular exercise, use of meditation when required, being more aware of my feelings and how to manage them... I no longer desire or have any need to ‘escape’ my own life. Some of my friends and colleagues suggest I am arrogant or ‘lucky’ to be this way, to find this inner peace and to not ‘need’ escape methods, whether it be alcohol, drugs, going on holidays continually... I don’t feel it’s lucky because its been a lifelong journey to get to this place, perhaps an ‘unlucky’ life event with throw me off balance again at somepoint but i feel like now I have a much broader range of tools to cope and manage such an event. Alocohol and other methods of escapism only worked so long for me. The discovery that I was autistic was also a massive game changer in my journey. Its been a journey of acceptance since then (about 6 years ago).

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Thanks for sharing this Mark. For me, I do "use" alcohol" to access the expansiveness that my "headiness" blocks me from. I'm OK with this "practice". I don't want to sound arrogant here...but years of playing with different techniques, this actually builds on everything else to see me operate best. But the issue is...as per the final point in JR's post...we think more of it will give us more expansiveness.

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Congrats Mark, that's awesome. Sounds like you've developed healthier and more sustainable mechanisms for surviving and thriving.

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I was a heavy binge drinker for 20 years who stopped drinking once I became completely disabled by illness. Though I would never have stopped before for any other reason (apart from one year I had a week long hangover and stopped for ten months), I’ve never missed drinking. I wonder if that was because I found more meaning behind not doing it, like health? A reason to live. Not a way of life that was solely to numb out the severe and agonising pain I had been living with? It was definitely a cultural thing for me here in the uk...work hard all week, get drunk all weekend. Everyone else was doing it, I followed along the well trodden path. Until I chose an unauthodox one. Then everyone thought I was mental😆 yet here I am, a well person who lives a dream life, full of bliss, joy, health and wellness. Something that is available to us all when we step away from the known, into the unknown.

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I've gone for long stints without alcohol and am always amazed how you just don't miss it after about a week. Bravo on your dream life!

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Thank you 🙏 and don’t get me wrong, challenges still present themselves, daily stresses still show up - I’m still healing the remnants of migraine disease, fibromyalgia, tinnitus, anxiety & depression but my priorities are in order of that which aligns continually improving health 🙏💜🔹

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I detest the drinking culture and the pervasiveness of alcohol, especially when I see people acting undignified. I attend lots of concerts, I find it perplexing that people line up for a long time to get their overpriced alcoholic beverages and don't mind missing out on musical acts for which they paid a small fortune. In saying all that, alcohol (max 3 glasses of sparkling wine or red wine) makes me chilled and loving, unfortunately or fortunately, those feelings don't last. I abhor feeling nausetious, so I don't over-do it. I can easily go months without touching any alcohol. My partner drinks even less than me. I buy alcohol if I know somebody is coming over. It goes without saying we do not have a bar or a drinks fridge.

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I find this quote so intriguing...

“When people think they are drinking alcohol, they behave according to their cultural beliefs about the behavioural effects of alcohol.”

I have recently stopped drinking because I noticed that I use it to help me to "perform" in a world I don't really understand.

But my mind is blown now that potentially not the alcohol itself that helps me, it's the beliefs that I have about alcohol i.e. people who drink are fun, people who drink don't mind noise or crowds... So interesting to think that when I'm drinking I still don't like crowds, I just believe that I should.

Thanks for the thought starters this morning.

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Yes, that line that got me too...more for its ability to explain what's going on with others. I watch drunk people and I don't believe "the maximum fun times" vibe they are playing to...

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I think once the level of drunkenness gets to a certain point, it's not about beliefs anymore. If the soul is removed by the spirits (or red wine!), we're then functioning at the most basic human level and it becomes a choice to fight for survival or give up. It's very hard to reckon with the idea that if this isn't really fun how the hell did I get myself into this position? If you decide to fight, you'll make damn sure you think you're having fun. And if you don't... 💔

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Thanks, Karen! It's so complex and hard to unpack, isn't it? Which is why I love the Sarah thought starters too.

Every so often I test myself and try to go without drinking for a month or two. It's mostly about wanting to sit with the self-consciousness of it. And hearing the stories I tell myself in those moments. There are some doozies.

I've done this in different countries as I've travelled around. And as Sarah mentions, it's always easier in Europe where the story about alcohol is embedded in enjoyment (and coupled with food). I could go to a bar and order a tea and no one would think much of it. There's an apple pie right next to the beer tap. I love this!

Oh, and I like your point about there being a threshold. Where the expansiveness seems to implode on itself and it no longer feels like there's a surplus of anything much. It's just hard to match it up with the cultural/performance of alcohol that runs in parallel.

Thanks for your comments and have a great Thursday!

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In a similar vein, I've come to realise that the hungover feeling is the exact same one I get when I wake up sleep deprived, even if I haven't drunk or only a glass. I used to be so sure it was a hangover...! The alcohol does make it more likely I don't hear the siren song of my comfortable bed, though.

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I related so much to what you wrote. I too enjoy 1-2 glasses of thoughtfully chosen wine, 5ish nights a week. It helps me unwind and as you so beautifully put it, it releases me momentarily from the shackles of discipline and restriction. I get my best ideas relating to human connection after one glass of wine. I too naturally want to stop after that. I have always wondered how this could be bad. It is clearly different from the binge drinking /numbing culture which I detest. I have often thought that for those who are anxiety prone (like myself), a glass of wine helps to balance that out, see the bigger picture and even celebrate the beauty in life.

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I have mind with food...and I do think it helps me digest better because I'm relaxed.

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💯 me too

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Bill Wilson co founder of AA was having a crisis of faith in 1961 and reached out to Carl Jung. Jung responded with a letter quoting 'Spiritus Contra Spiritum' suggesting that spirits(alcohol) can only be overcome by a spiritual program.

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You've sent me down a rabbit hole online trying to find the origin of "spirits"... Nothing concrete but lots of thoughts on the link between the buzz from alcohol and the spiritual experience and the distillation process being similar to the extraction of the soul. Oof.

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It's a well known letter before Jung died in 1961. In Latin Spiritus = Spirit vs Spirituum = Spirits. Also Jung wasn't averse to making puns.

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I love this idea of Bill Wilson contacting Jung.

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I have a copy of the letter if you need it. Sadly Carl Jung died later that year.

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Can you paste it here?!

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Thanks Sarah I enjoyed this read. Especially the references to Châteauneuf-du-Pape and Blue Nun both very appropriate British drinking references. I have over 100 emails in my inbox and often choose to take the time to read yours so keep ‘em coming 😉

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I'm glad I am the wheat to your inbox chaff!!

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This is timely, Sarah, as I was wondering how you felt about Alcohol. About 10 years ago I attended an IQS event where Dr Kerryn Phelps spoke & she mentioned that alcohol was a Class A Carcinogen. This was the first time I had heard that and I was shocked.

Fast forward 10 years and I am currently on week 2 of a (hopefully) long break from alcohol. I enjoy(ed) drinking and am very social and never dreamed I would stop. Like you, I have hashis and I always had a niggling feeling that alcohol wasn't helping. I now realise I will never get rid of anxiety or inflammation while I am drinking. The two resources that helped me stop were the Huberman Lab podcast (the episode on alcohol) - the science is presented so succinctly and it's hard to ignore. Also listening to "This Naked Mind" on audiobook. Both of these flicked a switch in my mind that I didn't know was there.

It's been an eye opening two weeks already. Like I am on the outside, looking in. I haven't "preached" or anything, simply said to friends that i'm off booze for the day (when offered) and I can't believe how defensive people get and how quick they are to spout off why they drink and how they don't have a problem.

Thanks for all you do, Sarah, you are a light x

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Alcohol consumption is having a bit of a reckoning and I'm here for it. I too can happily stop at a glass or abstain, and sometimes I wonder why I come back to it at all. Habit alone? Seeking a little expansiveness? I also love the invitation to see how we can live our lives in a way that achieves these states more often and without substances

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You only have to ‘abstain’ for the duration of one social gathering to realise how ingrained drinking is in our culture. People notice and comment and question.

The rise in all flavours of alcohol-free drinks is pretty crazy. I mean it’s great if people are drinking less, but it’s also just another thing that people think they need to buy.

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Very much. I'm currently not drinking and seeing as it's not January and I'm not pregnant, it's quite awkward. I don't want to tell the world that I'm not drinking as we're trying to conceive, because I don't want to share that, but I imagine people draw their conclusions...

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September 5, 2023
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For sure! I'm a stubborn sort so I don't let it stop me, but it's interesting that it's so enmeshed in our culture that it's a Thing To Navigate when you don't partake.

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(Don't let disapproval or gossip stop me from NOT drinking, that is!)

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I think because it’s the norm to drink, that’s the rationale people use when they react to non-drinkers. Wanting an explanation, not pausing to think it might not be appropriate to pry and quite possibly never questioning their own regular consumption. Many people stop for physical and mental health reasons... might not want to chat about it at the bar or at all.

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Excellent article Sarah! thank you. I will

certainly think about it when I take my next drink :))

It actually makes a lot of sense… I am also one of the

Lucky ones, alcohol does not do it for me

Nor do I particularly like it, even though there are plenty of interesting drinks out there (Negroni and cosmo spring to mind)

I find it’s not worth the calories either - fun fact: it actually reduces your glucose level at first but sneaks up on you later!

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Intriguing section about the cultural expectations of drinking - it explains why I've never seen drunks in Europe behave like those in Australia.

I just can't get past the harm of drinking. I grew up with an alcoholic stepfather, my uncle died of alcoholism early this year after destroying his relationships and everything about himself, and nursing means I see alcohol-related health effects at their very unglamorous worst.

I know not everyone drinks to excess, but I see anything that treats it in a positive way to be harmful, especially with the most recent research showing there's no safe level of drinking.

I would love to see alcohol treated like cigarettes in Australia to try to combat our incredibly unhealthy culture around it. No branding, advertising banned, not allowed in many public spaces, definitely not allowed at events like school fetes (really, wtf?).

Anyway, there's my tangential rant.

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On caffeine ... I haven’t read Michael Pollan’s book, ‘Caffeine: How coffee and tea created the modern world’, but I’ve heard him interviewed. As part of his research he gave it up so that he could try decaffeinated life. He said the withdrawal was horrid, but entirely worth it, as some months later he could fully experience a first coffee.

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I remember hearing about this! He withdrew whilst trying to write, and found it really affected his confidence and mood. Isn't it endlessly interesting, the mood-alterers that we will and won't accept societally?

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Such an interesting topic! I've been thinking about it a lot recently. I've never been a big drinker (control freak??), but I do enjoy a nice glass of wine, cider or a G&T.

However, I suffered a bad knee injury two years ago, which required surgery and lots of rehab. I didn't drink more than a glass at a time throughout, and went without for months: I simply didn't think I could forgive myself if a drunken stumble undid all of my progress, knowing it was a 12+ months recovery anyway. I didn't really miss it, but did find myself having alcohol in social situations.

I'm completely out of drinking practice, so a glass and a half now has me well on the way to tipsy, and being unsteady still scares me.

My new husband and I are now newly trying to conceive. I am no spring chicken, and having read about the recommendation not to have alcohol during this process, I'm once again finding it fairly easy not to have any. Drinking less coffee is by far the greater challenge (and I look forward to your thoughts on that)!

The most difficult thing is not drinking in social situations where I previously would have, without telling the world we're trying to conceive. As I don't expect it to be an easy or even a successful journey, it's something I'm keen to keep close to my chest. Lots of slyly ordered tonic without the gin, I guess!

Alcohol means so many different things to different people at different times, it's codified into culture and communication. It's interesting to observe the difficulties of stepping outside of those shared habits.

PS. Excited to hear you speak tonight! x

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A soda water with fresh lime also passes well as a vodka soda 🤭 shame we have to do this but I find it shuts people up... best of luck 🤞

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One of my corporate clients started an alcohol-free subscription box company during Covid after deciding that her drinking habits were pervading on her life too much as a wife and parent. It's been very successful and tapped into a whole other market that is growing. Her idea was yes, primarily for non-drinkers, but she also recognizes that there is a market for drinkers and based on her social market research she has found that the majority of her subscribers are people who do drink but want alternatives for days they don't want to, or want to be able to drink with friends sans alcohol. I love that there is a trend towards this! I enjoy a couple of glasses of wine on the weekend and only during the week if I am going out to dinner (which has the mama of an eight year old isn't that often). Having a wider range of alternatives (even if it's a shrub mixed with sparkling water) is way better than just water every night. I gave up cocktails in my '30's and have never liked beer (such a bad Australian - haha!). I like to sip and savour my beverage rather than rush through it and so it's conducted either over a long discussion with my husband about our week or gathering with girlfriends to right the world.

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Oh wow I love this, thank you Sarah. I have so much guilt around drinking as a result of binge drinking and getting into trouble in my teens as well as from my spiritual work where in that world there’s a big belief that drinking disconnects you from spirit and is a no no. I love that this allows a new way.

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