I don’t normally comment on posts but I wanted to say I love the depth of conversation you have and the thoughts you share. As a Kiwi living in Australia, the no campaign for the Voice makes me embarrassed to call Australia my second home. This is a chance for Australia to be better, to start a healing journey.
I can see why you have chosen to explore other places, I live the ‘box ticking suburban life’ with a couple of fab kids, great husband... but my goodness, I had to work hard and it took serious time to find people that want to have the deep conversations.
Your journey and your podcast have an intensity that is deeply appealing... please keep fighting the good fight and providing a space for those of us that need some thought provoking content after one more surface level school gate interaction 😉
I am also a kiwi living in Australia and I am deeply ashamed of this country’s response to the request from the indigenous people. My heart is very heavy today.
Thanks for this conversation Sarah. I needed this ahead of this weekend in Oz. As someone who grew up in multiple countries I never feel truly at home anywhere but somehow I’ve stuck in Melbourne for nearly 20 yrs (I’m now 45) for all of the reasons already touched on. I feel for the energy of the place, the nature and diversity of the city but now living an hour out of town in regional Victoria I feel the fear of change from people. Whether it’s regarding climate, COVID and now The Voice it makes me feel I can’t stay much longer. The closed kings and ‘she’ll be right’ mentality scares me. I want deep, open, non judgmental debates not polarised shouting matches driven by fear. Most of all kindness, acceptance and a willingness to change. I work in nature restoration, working closely with First Nations communities everyday and from my position of privilege I don’t know how to reconcile the grief and hurt they will feel if it’s a No.
I want to believe otherwise but sadly I don't think that will be the case. Even my American husband is fed up with both sides (He usually votes Democrat even though he is registered as an independent - with the exception of a gubernatorial race where he voted for the moderate Republican candidate). He was in shock when Trump was elected and it's been downhill from there. We have an eight year old daughter - this is now not a location I care to be here long term. BUT - what's next if not home?
Hey Sarah - love the new format. I had you on camera and on my speaker as I made some lunch! It works for me because I'm not on any social media - this feels very personal and safe, so thank you!
I live in the middle of NSW on Wiradjuri country and when I am home I feel steady and grounded. When I travel, it takes me a long time to settle (and by that time I'm usually on my way home again!)
I have great faith in our country to make this work and I know that things will be OK no matter what the outcome of tomorrow's vote. As you mentioned, it's the start of something bigger. I want to be a part of that and I choose to live and work here and keep getting the little things happening. I have a small child and he is listening to everything I say and do. I have enormous hope and trust.
This land is sacred, there's no doubt about it. I want to live here where I hear the kookaburras wake me at dawn, where the dust blows and the trees hold on for dear life! I am them and they are me.
Take care Sarah and thanks for all that you bring to my life and experiences,
How lovely to hear from you. I'm only new to this substack so sorry it's taken me a while to get back to you (I had no idea there were so many lovely conversations and threads here!)
Thanks Sarah. Interesting the pressure for moving... I'm considering a move to NYC, more to just experience a large diverse creative melting pot with potential for growth (in all ways). I'm getting pressure from my mother (through the lens of concern), and I'm surprised at 50, I still really want my mothers blessing! Of course she is just wanting the best for me, and I think as we get older there is an assumption we should be 'settled down' particularly as a family with 2 x teens, but then I ponder, well isn't life about adventure, and following the calling. Not to make this about me... but I have been wrestling with the pressure of the choice. If I was in my 20's it wouldn't be seen as such a risky choice. I'm inspired by your bold choices, including your choice to relocate.
Yeah... thinking the same thing - May-Dec. I am planning an exhibition... but was intending to coincide with International Women's Day.. March 8... boo.. will you be gone?
Well I'll give you your own private viewing in that case! Still need a grant or sponsorship at this stage tho... so WIP... but a few leads, so feeling promising.
To answer Amy, it’s not weird to want to leave Australia ☺️ I love this place to bits, I surf when ever I can. Run and hike and enjoy the forests as often as possible. But the place can be culturally claustrophobic. Which sounds really pretentious, but the current debate kind of reveals it. I live in Byron Bay, one of the most close minded and anxious communities I have ever lived in. There are pockets of gold and the nature is sublime. But there is a level of fear and anxiety here which is palpable. Maybe it’s the effect of living in a place which is so damn good. Once all of your needs are met, you have reached paradise, all you have left is yourself and your mind. Maybe it is Australians fear of speaking up and bearing their hearts? Maybe other countries have greater contact to the basics and fundamentals of life. Where true connection is closer at hand. And more a part of life.
I mix it up and get to Brisbane as much as possible, and other smaller towns, to see more and feel more. But looking forward to getting back to Europe next year.
Hi Steve - this is Amy! Thank you for your response and you put it perfectly- culturally claustrophobic is exactly how I feel! As a result of my travels I see that the quality of life (save for our First Nations people and some of our precious minorities) on a whole is very, very good. People in my neighbourhood typically protest over the flightpath of an Emirates plane leaving at 9pm overhead and our suburb is 20 mins from the airport! There is this haze of entitlement and ‘head in sand’ approach to any issue that is not domestic. There is little to challenge Australians to have difficult conversations and I would say being so far away from the rest of the world results in a very insular way of thinking.
Thanks Amy ☺️ I will look you up when I am in town and need a nourishing conversation. Yes we are so far away from everything else. A blessing and a curse depending on the state of the world. I have been pondering the need to understand and discuss the big global issues, which is soothing to the mind and soul. While also pondering how much we have to do here at home. In my own home, clearing out, gifting things away, making it beautiful. Through to how we treat our First Nations brother and sisters. And how we treat the land we live on. That’s what I like about Brisbane and the Sunshine Coast. People get involved and start land care groups, or other community organisations. Where while it’s not solving it all. It kind of is, it’s looking after the person, the people, and the place. In a beautiful way
Hi Steve, this thread is a few days old now but if you can, could you elaborate on why the Byron Bay Area feels that way? I’ve had similar feelings but haven’t actually been there in years now, so I’m interested to hear current insights.. especially political!
Politicians are bullied into saying no to development, when the real solution would be to work with developers, and government and formulate a vision for the township. Byron has an opportunity and the financial support and will of people moving here to create a new way of living in a small community. Rather than just saying no and rejecting the status quo , there are very few who actually create the solutions.
The beautiful thing is, there are pockets of innovation regarding housing, farming, regenerative business and agriculture, and mental health solutions.
On a personal level, the place is the worst example of non sustainable living in Australia. High food and accomodation costs, long commutes, and low wages. And I am one of the very very lucky ones , who has an amazing landlord and a just affordable rent. Though I work full time in a professional role and am wealthy, I cannot afford a home here 😅. Unless I want my daughter and I to commute two - three hours a day. Which I just will not do to ourselves or the planet.
What’s the solution? state government support to assist in a regional plan for the future development of the town and surrounding land. Better use of the surrounding farm land to provide food and homes for humans and a regeneration of the wilds at the same time.
Medium density housing in the towns and raised above the flood plains in clusters, with the rest of the cleared grazing / flood plains reforested and natural drainage lines re established.
It’s the same issues that face everyone in Australia, it just happens to be all happening in Byron in the spotlight. And at a more intense level.
The number of older men and women living in cars is astounding, and will lead to dire consequences for them regarding mental health. And there are not enough resources available to support them.
Saying all of this , I just ran up to the lighthouse and back and watched dolphins jumping 😂 so it’s not the end of the world. But unless things change rapidly, I am in a pickle having to live here. Anyway, that’s my rant. Will ponder solutions tonight over dinner and go to sleep grateful for living in such a blessed and beautiful place.
You have thought deeply on many social/political aspects of Byron Bay, so that’s helped me update my perceptions. It’s been so long since I was there, and that place (as with any time/place) is no more. Feels like the Byron region is now a spread out version of an Australian city, with all the wealth, poverty and in-between, but with a lot of uniquely Byron stuff happening too, precisely because of the alternative lifestyle foundations. As in other comments above, no matter where we live it’s probably, solidly a trade off!
There is no doubt how uniquely beautiful the area is. That curved bay, with clouded mountains behind. The wilder ocean beaches. Winding hill roads. Almost perfect weather. (Lemonade fruit? did I imagine that?).
My interest comes from seeing Byron for the first time in the 90s. Was I (unknowingly) seeing it in the final throes of it’s Nimbin adjacent hippy-era? The food co-op, modest meditation centres.. it was all quite earnest. There were also older, conservative residents living in fibro houses right in the centre of town. Or maybe that all still remains, layered with the waves of city immigrants, money and image. But then, even in the 70s, the ‘hippies’ coming to Byron and the hills surrounding, were mostly wealthy city kids! Cosmopolitan, searching people surrounded by an incredible landscape is quite a combo.
Relating back to Sarah’s post, your experiences of held-back/closed-off mentalities might be a generally Australian thing? But have you seen the accompanying anti-intellectualism in Byron too? Do you know how the Voice referendum was received there?
It’s interesting, as a Canberran (considered one of the most suburban, ‘white-bread’ places around!), I grew up surrounded by reserved, yet well-informed progressive people, often from other countries. As I’ve aged, and experienced the more ‘Aussie’ lifestyles (and eventually, gained some country in-laws) I was surprised at the level of ambivalence to the wider world. I can see why Australians probably need to travel!
I will try and sum up my assumptions and observations of the challenges of living in one of the most desired destinations on the planet.
It’s interesting, I have a similar experience to what Sarah has had here in Australia. I feel held back in some regards (though I know I am doing a lot of the holding back myself). My very closest friends are Europeans, Swedes and Brits. With a select few old old friends from high school. But it’s the Europeans that I can fall apart with , or celebrate with in a whole hearted way. Maybe Aussies just can’t go there, we are to afraid. For example I wish Albo would on live TV call Peter Dutton a manipulative dickhead, just let out what he really damn feels 😅. As an Australian man, it took me travels to the other side of the planet , 10 years away and the. The journey back again to final tear down those walls. And then it was a Brit that demolished them and tidily dusted them into the corner 😅🙏🏼🤍.
Byron is vibrant , but it is a vibrant tornado of the same same. Mushrooms, plant medicine, cocaine, real estate, green politics, sex and broken hearts. A frantic, vapid attempt at finding the solution and solid ground when the rest of the world was not real enough or too hard. There is an
Interesting to read your perspective from Byron on this topic Steve. I've lived abroad for the most part of 25 years and am now returning to NNSW to set up a base around tweed shire. I've visited the nthn rivers often over the years for family and your experience of the palpable anxiety and fear rings true, more so in this last visit than anytime before the pandemic. I have thought a lot lately about trade offs when we choose to live somewhere/anywhere. After living in Asia, Europe and central america for many years, the cultural experiences have obviously been life changing and wonderful but every place I've lived has a trade off. Whether it be more culture less safety, more capacity to live in the moment as a way of life but zero government support in times of need, more opportunity to engage with intellectual communities but no easy access to soothing nature...the list of these trade offs could be long. I've realised that now it is about what suits for where we are in whatever stage we are in, shifting priorities which we all have as humans, and actively seeking out the ones around us that can meet us where we want to be met. Or maybe I just tell myself this as I head on back to Aus :) hehehe.
Thanks for your comment Ali, nice to hear that it’s not my own fear and close mindedness being projected 😅
I agree with your observations , and this is how I am setting myself up for the next few years before I can move again. This region has easy access to art, culture and ideas in Brisbane (it’s having its own little renaissance right now 👌🏼) and the nature is next level, so it’s just a matter of planning trips out and about. And having the balls to have the conversations that I want to have. And be open to the people I wish to be around by modelling that myself. I am very lucky and blessed to be where I am. And it’s fun learning to navigate it’s challenges
Steve I live in the Sunshine Coast and unfortunately things aren’t any different here. Everyone is living in paradise and all they can think of is their own lives without a thought for those less privileged. This area has hardly any diversity which I believe contributes to this issue.
Here in NZ we are on the eve of our general election too, and are potentially looking at the new government being the most right-wing coalition NZ has ever had. But... anything can happen! It will be close, but maybe the left will get over the line, and maybe the YES vote in AU will sneak over as well. When you said it was looking like it would be a NO majority I was quite shocked - to vote YES makes so much sense to me!
We have been having the same convo in NZ around 'co-governance', which has been part of our system for over a decade but only now have a bunch of racist (mostly) men picked it up and have been driving up and down the country to "STOP co-governance". But honestly, what's good for māori is good for everyone, and the same is true for First Nations in AU.
Things feel precarious and stressful right now, and no matter how the system shifts for each of our countries over the next couple of days all we can do is stand strong to our values, do what we can and keep up the good work. Because there will be a new future system no matter what, and we get to choose how we interact with it, whether it's YES or NO, left or right!
Ok this will be unhelpful feedback as it’s not constructive BUT I BLOODY LOVED IT. Deeply appreciate your take on things which resonate so, so much. Very grateful for the time and care you put into thinking. Look forward to all your content. Thank you, SW.
I love all your work Sarah ...... the deep real and raw openness of it all whether it be your books, podcast, video, Substack, Insta or .......?
I especially love having an insight into your wild and precious life adventures in Paris.
I’m here in Oz seriously worried about the Voice but still hopeful it will get over the line. I was so shocked after three months in Europe to come home and find that the No ignorance and idiocy had developed traction. The embarrassment and shame will be visceral if we do not vote for change and recognition. Nonetheless I am an optimist and imagining a surprising double majority YES YES YES
Regardless I plan to head over to Bondi on Sunday and jump into that gorgeous ocean that I never take for granted.
Thank you Sarah for all the inspiration, conversation and adventures you share. Xx
Thanks Sarah, I'm living in Costa Rica coming up 3 years and relate to what you're saying. It made me wonder if "she'll be right" and "pura vida" have some similarity but this phrase here has SO many meanings! Such a beautiful description of the landscape, I miss the kookaburras (I will treasure the moment when my youngest child will first hear them), I miss so much..I think it's something about the vastness also. But there's an awkwardness to my homesickness, because so much does not sit well. I posted my yes vote off via the Mexican embassy. Someone sent me this gem today in case anyone's interested:
SARAH! This is Amy - thank you for taking the time to respond to my question and Kat’s question so thoughtfully. I am really grateful! I have been travelling through Thailand and Laos the last three weeks and I am flying back to Brisbane today. Over the last few weeks I realised the reality is this: if I choose to spend time in Australia (however long that will be) then I need to acknowledge that it is about compromise. If I choose to be there, then I know I will also be choosing to be part of society where I will feel (as Steve says below) culturally claustrophobic a great deal of the time. I am going to try and stop getting frustrated at what is (where I end up with what I call ‘frayed nerves’) and acknowledge the compromise. But I know myself and I can only do this for so long! And Sarah you are right - the pressure is inappropriate and I need to ignore it. Now I’m thinking of moving to Paris! Ha! I read this the other day and thought of you in this fraught reckoning in Australia and the big questions - may grace surprise you kindly on your way. X
Thanks for sharing. It does echo some of my own observations.
I am French but I lived 15 years in Seattle in the US, and I have been back for the last 2 years in France. I really enjoyed my time in the US for the sense of freedom, of entrepreneurship in the workplace, the vast landscape/nature…. But being back here in France, I meet so many soul mates ; people who enjoy reading, having conversations. I also feel that the awareness of the sustainable issues we are facing is way stronger here than in the US.
The french “social” “socialist approach” is not always easy to grasp and the ability to navigate the polarities is super important even if it is not easy.
Hi Sarah. This was a really interesting listen, I especially loved your thoughts on the Australian landscape. As someone whose lived in Europe for three years myself I could certainly relate to much of this.
Also - I loved your latest podcast on the Great Simplification theory. Very interesting! I like that he didn't use the collapse and instead framed it as a simplification of our lives/ society / economy and so we might as well get start making that conversion now. This is something that I feel I'm trying to do anyways. I remember when the pandemic happened, people said they liked it because it was 'getting back to basics'. So The Great Simplification is something that is way more palatable to people as a trajectory that we're potentially heading in I feel.
PS - would love to hear your thoughts when you have time to share on the voice outcome. Devastating! :(
Hi RR, yes, i've noticed a lot of ppl like the idea of simplifying (allowing for engagement) and collapse (feels doomer). Re voice - not for now...I wanted to say what I did before the results came in because I knew there would be a lot of noise and I think we all need things to settle a bit, including our feelings.
I have been living in the US for 22 years. My friends always ask when we are coming home (I have a US husband and 50/50 8 year old daughter) and we keep talking about it . ., . .and talking about it .. . . and I am just not sure why we aren't. On paper - nature, outdoors, milder weather, cafes, the people (yes I have yet to encounter negative people each year I return home, but I also don't pretend those people don't exist), family, friends. In column B - if I am honest, the isolation is what concerns me the most. Followed by the $$$$. By isolation I guess I am referring to both the geographic and global interest/perspective, the conversations that I love to have. My best girlfriends are all over the world now and from all countries and walks of life which I would never have found had I not left. And at the same time we don't get together as often as any of us would like. My mum is at home, but my brother is moving to Canada next year (Canadian wife). It's sort of like living two (or three) different lives. Mid-40s and terrified of making the wrong move but also of not making any move at all. Rambling but all to say that I can relate to a lot of the commenters on here.
We're all relating to each other and perhaps what I'm picking up (and this is a conversation I'm having IRL with many here in Paris) is that we don't have to be making right moves, we don't have to "know"...some of us just need to be "away" to ask the questions.
Hello Sarah. What a wonderful community you're creating here! I live in Nairobi and listened to your post on the way to work this morning, weaving around potholes and protests. I'm 45 (or 46..I've stopped counting) and have lived out of Australia for 20 years. I work as an environmental lawyer for the UN, so I move a lot. It's a wonderful job and life. I've lived in New York, London, Bangkok and now Nairobi. That said, I'm increasingly thinking of moving back to Australia . My wife (from a different country...UK) and I have two kids who are approaching high school age. We want to give them the opportunity to put down some roots somewhere, and Australia seems like a good option. It's also for us. So many moves. So many goodbyes. We're craving long term communities that aren't over zoom. I think it could work, but so many pros and cons. It was so helpful to hear you articulate your thinking on why you left....but also what bound you to Australia. The connection to nature speaks to me at a cellular level. This community you've created has a depth of insight I haven't seen elsewhere, or at least outside the bubble of other expats in the UN I trade ideas with. I really appreciate it. There's no right or wrong on Aus or overseas, but I am gaining a lot from the different contours of thought and experience below. And from your story, so thank you again!
Lovely to have you join us here...I noted on an earlier comment...a lot of expats here.
The kids' schooling issue. It's a conversation I'm privy to over here with parents who are glad to not have their kids in school in AU. The reason being that there is so much pressure to have them attend private schools. The gap btw public and private funding and quality has grown over the years. Sadly (and this is one of my laments) private schools seems to be a far-too-dominant topic of conversation in AU
This resonates especially with regards to your children. Both my children were born in France. My husband and I made the difficult decision to return to Australia once they reached school age. With hindsight (they are both adults now) it turned out to be the right decision. We didn’t return to a big city but opted for the NSW mid north coast where their grandparents lived. They grew up wild with the Pacific Ocean at their doorstep. They had freedom to roam and access to clean air and water. The natural environment shaped who they are today. Vibrant, strong, open and kind individuals. I hope this helps, all the best!
As an Australian woman in my mid 40s who struggles to live in Australia (currently in Edinburgh), this really resonated for so many ways. It is incredibly lovely to hear your thoughts on this feeling and situation as it really helped me validate and feel at peace with my own. Thank you always for speaking your truth. The world needs so much more of this.
Hey Sarah,
I don’t normally comment on posts but I wanted to say I love the depth of conversation you have and the thoughts you share. As a Kiwi living in Australia, the no campaign for the Voice makes me embarrassed to call Australia my second home. This is a chance for Australia to be better, to start a healing journey.
I can see why you have chosen to explore other places, I live the ‘box ticking suburban life’ with a couple of fab kids, great husband... but my goodness, I had to work hard and it took serious time to find people that want to have the deep conversations.
Your journey and your podcast have an intensity that is deeply appealing... please keep fighting the good fight and providing a space for those of us that need some thought provoking content after one more surface level school gate interaction 😉
Reckon there will be some other ppl here sympathising with the "hard work" you do to find connections in the school gate community!
Hee hee yes. You have to dig deep but you eventually find your tribe wherever you go.
I am also a kiwi living in Australia and I am deeply ashamed of this country’s response to the request from the indigenous people. My heart is very heavy today.
Thanks for this conversation Sarah. I needed this ahead of this weekend in Oz. As someone who grew up in multiple countries I never feel truly at home anywhere but somehow I’ve stuck in Melbourne for nearly 20 yrs (I’m now 45) for all of the reasons already touched on. I feel for the energy of the place, the nature and diversity of the city but now living an hour out of town in regional Victoria I feel the fear of change from people. Whether it’s regarding climate, COVID and now The Voice it makes me feel I can’t stay much longer. The closed kings and ‘she’ll be right’ mentality scares me. I want deep, open, non judgmental debates not polarised shouting matches driven by fear. Most of all kindness, acceptance and a willingness to change. I work in nature restoration, working closely with First Nations communities everyday and from my position of privilege I don’t know how to reconcile the grief and hurt they will feel if it’s a No.
I feel the same (re reconciling the grief and whatever else FN people will feel). I reckon we follow their lead.
47, Australian, living in the US and also pondering the same questions. What next?
I imagine the US next year will be very HARD
I want to believe otherwise but sadly I don't think that will be the case. Even my American husband is fed up with both sides (He usually votes Democrat even though he is registered as an independent - with the exception of a gubernatorial race where he voted for the moderate Republican candidate). He was in shock when Trump was elected and it's been downhill from there. We have an eight year old daughter - this is now not a location I care to be here long term. BUT - what's next if not home?
Therein lies a good question for all of us
Hey Sarah - love the new format. I had you on camera and on my speaker as I made some lunch! It works for me because I'm not on any social media - this feels very personal and safe, so thank you!
I live in the middle of NSW on Wiradjuri country and when I am home I feel steady and grounded. When I travel, it takes me a long time to settle (and by that time I'm usually on my way home again!)
I have great faith in our country to make this work and I know that things will be OK no matter what the outcome of tomorrow's vote. As you mentioned, it's the start of something bigger. I want to be a part of that and I choose to live and work here and keep getting the little things happening. I have a small child and he is listening to everything I say and do. I have enormous hope and trust.
This land is sacred, there's no doubt about it. I want to live here where I hear the kookaburras wake me at dawn, where the dust blows and the trees hold on for dear life! I am them and they are me.
Take care Sarah and thanks for all that you bring to my life and experiences,
Love Cherie
Kookaburras...a few people have brought them up. Bless them for bringing so much joy to us.
Cherie, is that you? We did Meg’s unbound together? Lovely to see you here if that is you!
It is me! And it is you too Gillian!
How lovely to hear from you. I'm only new to this substack so sorry it's taken me a while to get back to you (I had no idea there were so many lovely conversations and threads here!)
Thank you Sarah
Love Cherie
This is very cute x
Thanks Sarah. Interesting the pressure for moving... I'm considering a move to NYC, more to just experience a large diverse creative melting pot with potential for growth (in all ways). I'm getting pressure from my mother (through the lens of concern), and I'm surprised at 50, I still really want my mothers blessing! Of course she is just wanting the best for me, and I think as we get older there is an assumption we should be 'settled down' particularly as a family with 2 x teens, but then I ponder, well isn't life about adventure, and following the calling. Not to make this about me... but I have been wrestling with the pressure of the choice. If I was in my 20's it wouldn't be seen as such a risky choice. I'm inspired by your bold choices, including your choice to relocate.
PS am back in Oz Dec - Feb...are you doing an exhibit with them pics?
Hey Sarah, when do you arrive in Dec? Plotting a cast & crew screening x
You Are? you guys would do well over there. Maybe do a 6-month test ...
Yeah... thinking the same thing - May-Dec. I am planning an exhibition... but was intending to coincide with International Women's Day.. March 8... boo.. will you be gone?
yeah leaving feb 28 at this stage
Well I'll give you your own private viewing in that case! Still need a grant or sponsorship at this stage tho... so WIP... but a few leads, so feeling promising.
To answer Amy, it’s not weird to want to leave Australia ☺️ I love this place to bits, I surf when ever I can. Run and hike and enjoy the forests as often as possible. But the place can be culturally claustrophobic. Which sounds really pretentious, but the current debate kind of reveals it. I live in Byron Bay, one of the most close minded and anxious communities I have ever lived in. There are pockets of gold and the nature is sublime. But there is a level of fear and anxiety here which is palpable. Maybe it’s the effect of living in a place which is so damn good. Once all of your needs are met, you have reached paradise, all you have left is yourself and your mind. Maybe it is Australians fear of speaking up and bearing their hearts? Maybe other countries have greater contact to the basics and fundamentals of life. Where true connection is closer at hand. And more a part of life.
I mix it up and get to Brisbane as much as possible, and other smaller towns, to see more and feel more. But looking forward to getting back to Europe next year.
Hi Steve - this is Amy! Thank you for your response and you put it perfectly- culturally claustrophobic is exactly how I feel! As a result of my travels I see that the quality of life (save for our First Nations people and some of our precious minorities) on a whole is very, very good. People in my neighbourhood typically protest over the flightpath of an Emirates plane leaving at 9pm overhead and our suburb is 20 mins from the airport! There is this haze of entitlement and ‘head in sand’ approach to any issue that is not domestic. There is little to challenge Australians to have difficult conversations and I would say being so far away from the rest of the world results in a very insular way of thinking.
Steve - I should also say I live in Brisbane. Shout out if you head this way!
cute
Thanks Amy ☺️ I will look you up when I am in town and need a nourishing conversation. Yes we are so far away from everything else. A blessing and a curse depending on the state of the world. I have been pondering the need to understand and discuss the big global issues, which is soothing to the mind and soul. While also pondering how much we have to do here at home. In my own home, clearing out, gifting things away, making it beautiful. Through to how we treat our First Nations brother and sisters. And how we treat the land we live on. That’s what I like about Brisbane and the Sunshine Coast. People get involved and start land care groups, or other community organisations. Where while it’s not solving it all. It kind of is, it’s looking after the person, the people, and the place. In a beautiful way
Hi Steve, this thread is a few days old now but if you can, could you elaborate on why the Byron Bay Area feels that way? I’ve had similar feelings but haven’t actually been there in years now, so I’m interested to hear current insights.. especially political!
whoops, I hit send 😅
Politicians are bullied into saying no to development, when the real solution would be to work with developers, and government and formulate a vision for the township. Byron has an opportunity and the financial support and will of people moving here to create a new way of living in a small community. Rather than just saying no and rejecting the status quo , there are very few who actually create the solutions.
The beautiful thing is, there are pockets of innovation regarding housing, farming, regenerative business and agriculture, and mental health solutions.
On a personal level, the place is the worst example of non sustainable living in Australia. High food and accomodation costs, long commutes, and low wages. And I am one of the very very lucky ones , who has an amazing landlord and a just affordable rent. Though I work full time in a professional role and am wealthy, I cannot afford a home here 😅. Unless I want my daughter and I to commute two - three hours a day. Which I just will not do to ourselves or the planet.
What’s the solution? state government support to assist in a regional plan for the future development of the town and surrounding land. Better use of the surrounding farm land to provide food and homes for humans and a regeneration of the wilds at the same time.
Medium density housing in the towns and raised above the flood plains in clusters, with the rest of the cleared grazing / flood plains reforested and natural drainage lines re established.
It’s the same issues that face everyone in Australia, it just happens to be all happening in Byron in the spotlight. And at a more intense level.
The number of older men and women living in cars is astounding, and will lead to dire consequences for them regarding mental health. And there are not enough resources available to support them.
Saying all of this , I just ran up to the lighthouse and back and watched dolphins jumping 😂 so it’s not the end of the world. But unless things change rapidly, I am in a pickle having to live here. Anyway, that’s my rant. Will ponder solutions tonight over dinner and go to sleep grateful for living in such a blessed and beautiful place.
Ah thank you for your thoughtful reply, Steve.
You have thought deeply on many social/political aspects of Byron Bay, so that’s helped me update my perceptions. It’s been so long since I was there, and that place (as with any time/place) is no more. Feels like the Byron region is now a spread out version of an Australian city, with all the wealth, poverty and in-between, but with a lot of uniquely Byron stuff happening too, precisely because of the alternative lifestyle foundations. As in other comments above, no matter where we live it’s probably, solidly a trade off!
There is no doubt how uniquely beautiful the area is. That curved bay, with clouded mountains behind. The wilder ocean beaches. Winding hill roads. Almost perfect weather. (Lemonade fruit? did I imagine that?).
My interest comes from seeing Byron for the first time in the 90s. Was I (unknowingly) seeing it in the final throes of it’s Nimbin adjacent hippy-era? The food co-op, modest meditation centres.. it was all quite earnest. There were also older, conservative residents living in fibro houses right in the centre of town. Or maybe that all still remains, layered with the waves of city immigrants, money and image. But then, even in the 70s, the ‘hippies’ coming to Byron and the hills surrounding, were mostly wealthy city kids! Cosmopolitan, searching people surrounded by an incredible landscape is quite a combo.
Relating back to Sarah’s post, your experiences of held-back/closed-off mentalities might be a generally Australian thing? But have you seen the accompanying anti-intellectualism in Byron too? Do you know how the Voice referendum was received there?
It’s interesting, as a Canberran (considered one of the most suburban, ‘white-bread’ places around!), I grew up surrounded by reserved, yet well-informed progressive people, often from other countries. As I’ve aged, and experienced the more ‘Aussie’ lifestyles (and eventually, gained some country in-laws) I was surprised at the level of ambivalence to the wider world. I can see why Australians probably need to travel!
Anyway! Thanks so much for your reply.
Cass
Hi Cass,
I will try and sum up my assumptions and observations of the challenges of living in one of the most desired destinations on the planet.
It’s interesting, I have a similar experience to what Sarah has had here in Australia. I feel held back in some regards (though I know I am doing a lot of the holding back myself). My very closest friends are Europeans, Swedes and Brits. With a select few old old friends from high school. But it’s the Europeans that I can fall apart with , or celebrate with in a whole hearted way. Maybe Aussies just can’t go there, we are to afraid. For example I wish Albo would on live TV call Peter Dutton a manipulative dickhead, just let out what he really damn feels 😅. As an Australian man, it took me travels to the other side of the planet , 10 years away and the. The journey back again to final tear down those walls. And then it was a Brit that demolished them and tidily dusted them into the corner 😅🙏🏼🤍.
Byron is vibrant , but it is a vibrant tornado of the same same. Mushrooms, plant medicine, cocaine, real estate, green politics, sex and broken hearts. A frantic, vapid attempt at finding the solution and solid ground when the rest of the world was not real enough or too hard. There is an
Oh, I just realised there’s more to the thread to read. No pressure to reply!
Interesting to read your perspective from Byron on this topic Steve. I've lived abroad for the most part of 25 years and am now returning to NNSW to set up a base around tweed shire. I've visited the nthn rivers often over the years for family and your experience of the palpable anxiety and fear rings true, more so in this last visit than anytime before the pandemic. I have thought a lot lately about trade offs when we choose to live somewhere/anywhere. After living in Asia, Europe and central america for many years, the cultural experiences have obviously been life changing and wonderful but every place I've lived has a trade off. Whether it be more culture less safety, more capacity to live in the moment as a way of life but zero government support in times of need, more opportunity to engage with intellectual communities but no easy access to soothing nature...the list of these trade offs could be long. I've realised that now it is about what suits for where we are in whatever stage we are in, shifting priorities which we all have as humans, and actively seeking out the ones around us that can meet us where we want to be met. Or maybe I just tell myself this as I head on back to Aus :) hehehe.
Thanks for your comment Ali, nice to hear that it’s not my own fear and close mindedness being projected 😅
I agree with your observations , and this is how I am setting myself up for the next few years before I can move again. This region has easy access to art, culture and ideas in Brisbane (it’s having its own little renaissance right now 👌🏼) and the nature is next level, so it’s just a matter of planning trips out and about. And having the balls to have the conversations that I want to have. And be open to the people I wish to be around by modelling that myself. I am very lucky and blessed to be where I am. And it’s fun learning to navigate it’s challenges
It really does have a lot going for it, and brissy is definitely growing up. Phew 😉
Might have to do a Brisbane/Northern Rivers meet up - Quite a few readers from up that way. @AnnelieseCrawford is another.
Yes Steve thanks for sharing.
Here in Bellingen the psyche is raw and adrift.
So much mental and emotional turbulence at present.
We have been here 3 years and Iam not at home as I thought I would be.
Funny what a place looks like and is sought after as to how it is truly felt and lived in.
Steve I live in the Sunshine Coast and unfortunately things aren’t any different here. Everyone is living in paradise and all they can think of is their own lives without a thought for those less privileged. This area has hardly any diversity which I believe contributes to this issue.
Sounds like a plan 👌🏼☺️
Here in NZ we are on the eve of our general election too, and are potentially looking at the new government being the most right-wing coalition NZ has ever had. But... anything can happen! It will be close, but maybe the left will get over the line, and maybe the YES vote in AU will sneak over as well. When you said it was looking like it would be a NO majority I was quite shocked - to vote YES makes so much sense to me!
We have been having the same convo in NZ around 'co-governance', which has been part of our system for over a decade but only now have a bunch of racist (mostly) men picked it up and have been driving up and down the country to "STOP co-governance". But honestly, what's good for māori is good for everyone, and the same is true for First Nations in AU.
Things feel precarious and stressful right now, and no matter how the system shifts for each of our countries over the next couple of days all we can do is stand strong to our values, do what we can and keep up the good work. Because there will be a new future system no matter what, and we get to choose how we interact with it, whether it's YES or NO, left or right!
I'm resigned to the fact the result will be exactly what we need...thx for giving context on the NZ election. I confess I've not been following.
I like that way of thinking Sarah, that makes me feel a little lighter today
Ok this will be unhelpful feedback as it’s not constructive BUT I BLOODY LOVED IT. Deeply appreciate your take on things which resonate so, so much. Very grateful for the time and care you put into thinking. Look forward to all your content. Thank you, SW.
Big thanks (and it was constructive!) x
I love all your work Sarah ...... the deep real and raw openness of it all whether it be your books, podcast, video, Substack, Insta or .......?
I especially love having an insight into your wild and precious life adventures in Paris.
I’m here in Oz seriously worried about the Voice but still hopeful it will get over the line. I was so shocked after three months in Europe to come home and find that the No ignorance and idiocy had developed traction. The embarrassment and shame will be visceral if we do not vote for change and recognition. Nonetheless I am an optimist and imagining a surprising double majority YES YES YES
Regardless I plan to head over to Bondi on Sunday and jump into that gorgeous ocean that I never take for granted.
Thank you Sarah for all the inspiration, conversation and adventures you share. Xx
Say hello to the ocean for me. I miss it. And I hope your imaginings bear fruit!!
Sadly my ‘imaginings’ and conversations bore no fruit 😔 but Bondi was shining as always this morning and said to give you a big warm hug 😘 🤗
Thanks Sarah, I'm living in Costa Rica coming up 3 years and relate to what you're saying. It made me wonder if "she'll be right" and "pura vida" have some similarity but this phrase here has SO many meanings! Such a beautiful description of the landscape, I miss the kookaburras (I will treasure the moment when my youngest child will first hear them), I miss so much..I think it's something about the vastness also. But there's an awkwardness to my homesickness, because so much does not sit well. I posted my yes vote off via the Mexican embassy. Someone sent me this gem today in case anyone's interested:
https://theshot.net.au/general-news/the-no-campaigns-argument-isnt-based-on-fear-it-is-fear/
Yes, No IS fear. Didn't realise you were in CR....good to get context (so many expats in this community...I guess we find each other)
SARAH! This is Amy - thank you for taking the time to respond to my question and Kat’s question so thoughtfully. I am really grateful! I have been travelling through Thailand and Laos the last three weeks and I am flying back to Brisbane today. Over the last few weeks I realised the reality is this: if I choose to spend time in Australia (however long that will be) then I need to acknowledge that it is about compromise. If I choose to be there, then I know I will also be choosing to be part of society where I will feel (as Steve says below) culturally claustrophobic a great deal of the time. I am going to try and stop getting frustrated at what is (where I end up with what I call ‘frayed nerves’) and acknowledge the compromise. But I know myself and I can only do this for so long! And Sarah you are right - the pressure is inappropriate and I need to ignore it. Now I’m thinking of moving to Paris! Ha! I read this the other day and thought of you in this fraught reckoning in Australia and the big questions - may grace surprise you kindly on your way. X
Amy!! I like the quote.
Also, extra quote back to you - keep the camera rolling...nothing is final .
Thanks for this Sarah. I have followed you for a while and have read the newsletters with interest. This video has convinced me to upgrade. Thanks.
Welcome Brett! x
Thanks for sharing. It does echo some of my own observations.
I am French but I lived 15 years in Seattle in the US, and I have been back for the last 2 years in France. I really enjoyed my time in the US for the sense of freedom, of entrepreneurship in the workplace, the vast landscape/nature…. But being back here in France, I meet so many soul mates ; people who enjoy reading, having conversations. I also feel that the awareness of the sustainable issues we are facing is way stronger here than in the US.
The french “social” “socialist approach” is not always easy to grasp and the ability to navigate the polarities is super important even if it is not easy.
I'm getting a lot from others sharing these observations...
Hi Sarah. This was a really interesting listen, I especially loved your thoughts on the Australian landscape. As someone whose lived in Europe for three years myself I could certainly relate to much of this.
Also - I loved your latest podcast on the Great Simplification theory. Very interesting! I like that he didn't use the collapse and instead framed it as a simplification of our lives/ society / economy and so we might as well get start making that conversion now. This is something that I feel I'm trying to do anyways. I remember when the pandemic happened, people said they liked it because it was 'getting back to basics'. So The Great Simplification is something that is way more palatable to people as a trajectory that we're potentially heading in I feel.
PS - would love to hear your thoughts when you have time to share on the voice outcome. Devastating! :(
Hi RR, yes, i've noticed a lot of ppl like the idea of simplifying (allowing for engagement) and collapse (feels doomer). Re voice - not for now...I wanted to say what I did before the results came in because I knew there would be a lot of noise and I think we all need things to settle a bit, including our feelings.
Absolutely in due course, respecting the week of silence etc. Thanks Sarah!
I have been living in the US for 22 years. My friends always ask when we are coming home (I have a US husband and 50/50 8 year old daughter) and we keep talking about it . ., . .and talking about it .. . . and I am just not sure why we aren't. On paper - nature, outdoors, milder weather, cafes, the people (yes I have yet to encounter negative people each year I return home, but I also don't pretend those people don't exist), family, friends. In column B - if I am honest, the isolation is what concerns me the most. Followed by the $$$$. By isolation I guess I am referring to both the geographic and global interest/perspective, the conversations that I love to have. My best girlfriends are all over the world now and from all countries and walks of life which I would never have found had I not left. And at the same time we don't get together as often as any of us would like. My mum is at home, but my brother is moving to Canada next year (Canadian wife). It's sort of like living two (or three) different lives. Mid-40s and terrified of making the wrong move but also of not making any move at all. Rambling but all to say that I can relate to a lot of the commenters on here.
We're all relating to each other and perhaps what I'm picking up (and this is a conversation I'm having IRL with many here in Paris) is that we don't have to be making right moves, we don't have to "know"...some of us just need to be "away" to ask the questions.
Hello Sarah. What a wonderful community you're creating here! I live in Nairobi and listened to your post on the way to work this morning, weaving around potholes and protests. I'm 45 (or 46..I've stopped counting) and have lived out of Australia for 20 years. I work as an environmental lawyer for the UN, so I move a lot. It's a wonderful job and life. I've lived in New York, London, Bangkok and now Nairobi. That said, I'm increasingly thinking of moving back to Australia . My wife (from a different country...UK) and I have two kids who are approaching high school age. We want to give them the opportunity to put down some roots somewhere, and Australia seems like a good option. It's also for us. So many moves. So many goodbyes. We're craving long term communities that aren't over zoom. I think it could work, but so many pros and cons. It was so helpful to hear you articulate your thinking on why you left....but also what bound you to Australia. The connection to nature speaks to me at a cellular level. This community you've created has a depth of insight I haven't seen elsewhere, or at least outside the bubble of other expats in the UN I trade ideas with. I really appreciate it. There's no right or wrong on Aus or overseas, but I am gaining a lot from the different contours of thought and experience below. And from your story, so thank you again!
Lovely to have you join us here...I noted on an earlier comment...a lot of expats here.
The kids' schooling issue. It's a conversation I'm privy to over here with parents who are glad to not have their kids in school in AU. The reason being that there is so much pressure to have them attend private schools. The gap btw public and private funding and quality has grown over the years. Sadly (and this is one of my laments) private schools seems to be a far-too-dominant topic of conversation in AU
Hello Andy
This resonates especially with regards to your children. Both my children were born in France. My husband and I made the difficult decision to return to Australia once they reached school age. With hindsight (they are both adults now) it turned out to be the right decision. We didn’t return to a big city but opted for the NSW mid north coast where their grandparents lived. They grew up wild with the Pacific Ocean at their doorstep. They had freedom to roam and access to clean air and water. The natural environment shaped who they are today. Vibrant, strong, open and kind individuals. I hope this helps, all the best!
As an Australian woman in my mid 40s who struggles to live in Australia (currently in Edinburgh), this really resonated for so many ways. It is incredibly lovely to hear your thoughts on this feeling and situation as it really helped me validate and feel at peace with my own. Thank you always for speaking your truth. The world needs so much more of this.